“Did you slip in some cheese? Did it make you hate cheese, which you had previously loved? Why not sue a cheese-maker? Sue him for all the cheese he's got, drive him out of the cheese-making business! Did you burn your face with an iron? Why not sue Prometheus, the god that invented fire? Or an Iron Age chieftain, for having the temerity to popularise the metal.” ComedyHumour Author:Stewart Lee
“What's happened is somewhere, along the line, as a society, we confused the notion of 'home' with the possibility of 'an investment opportunity'. What kind of creature wants to live in an 'investment opportunity'? Only man. The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity. Mmm, snuggled down in the lovely credit! All warm, in the mortgage payment, mmmmm...” ComedyHumourGfc Author:Stewart Lee
“Now was the moment and the moment was now. For in perhaps as little as twenty weeks' time, ill-informed voters, stuffed with incoherent arguments, like hissing geese force-fed nostalgia and hate to produce an idelible pâté of groundless opinion, would be asked to decide nothing less than what sort of country we want to live in and bequeath to those who come after us.” PoliticsSatireUnited KingdomBrexit Book:Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016 Source: Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016
“I was sorry to see the News of the World go down, I think it was a great campaigning newspaper. Who can forget the News of the World's high profile campaign against child sex offenders which led to News of the World readers burning down the home of a paediatrician, throwing rocks at a pedalo, stamping on a centipede.” ThinkingWorldChildrenHomeSexForgetRocksReaderNewsSorryCampaignsNewspapersBurningThrowingProfileOffendersCampaigningHigh ProfileSex OffendersBurning DownCentipedesThrowing Rocks Author:Stewart Lee
“In the past few months I've become religious, I've started to believe in god, creationism and intelligent design, and the reason that I now believe in god and creationism and intelligent design is because of Professor Richard Dawkins. Because when I look at something as complex and intricate and beautiful as Professor Richard Dawkins, I don't think that just could've evolved by chance! Professor Richard Dawkins was put there by god to test us, like fossils. And facts.” ThinkingBelieveLooksReasonFactsPastBeautifulReligiousChanceDesignMonthsTestsIntelligentComplexesBelieve In GodProfessorsFossilsIntricateCreationismIntelligent Design Author:Stewart Lee
“I knew about things like Iggy Pop and The Velvet Underground, weirdly, before I knew about David Bowie. I didn't know what David Bowie was, when I was a kid. I thought he was like Visage.” KnowsKidsPopsVelvetBowieVelvet Underground Author:Stewart Lee
“I'm really glad I'm not on Twitter. Because I'd have to be answering things that I didn't really know anything about, and I'd rather just wait for the dust to settle and then say something.” KnowsWaitingGladDustSettling Author:Stewart Lee
“Generally, a lot of the things people think are made up are real, a lot of the things people think are real are made up, a lot of the things people think are spontaneous are cleverly faked, and a lot of the things people think are fake are spontaneous.” PeopleThinkingMadeRealFakeSpontaneous Author:Stewart Lee
“I’m just confusing the thrill of being young with the notion that the era in which I was young was in any way especially creative or remarkable.” WayYoungCreativeNotionErasRemarkableThrillConfusing Book:How I Escaped My Certain Fate Source: How I Escaped My Certain Fate
“If political correctness has achieved one thing, it’s that it has made the Conservative party cloak their inherent racism behind more creative language” IfsMadePoliticalLanguagePartyBehindsCreativeOne ThingRacismConservativeInherentPolitical CorrectnessCloaksCorrectnessConservative Party Author:Stewart Lee
