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The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

Book by Susan C. Young · 36 quotes · Body Language Quotes, Communication Skills, Relationship Quotes

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The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact Quotes

“Research by the Income Center for Tradeshows found that people are twice as likely to remember you if you shake hands. According to the American Management Association, it takes only one-fortieth of a second to create a human bond. Whether you shake someone’s hand, squeeze their arm, or touch their shoulder, make these moments count to be remembered favorably.”

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“A person who offers a loose handshake, on the other hand (pun intended), may be interpreted as being uninterested, lacking confidence and self-esteem, weak, or being wishy-washy. Whether too strong or too weak, a bad handshake can set you back and close down a potentially rewarding relationship before it ever gets started.”

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“A simple handshake is not always a simple handshake. The way it is delivered can take on a million meanings and interpretations. As with every other form of body language and non-verbal communication, you are sending silent messages simply by the way you shake hands.”

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“A strong handshake conveys confidence, clarity, strength, and intention. As with everything else in life, if it is overzealous, it may be seen as aggressive, arrogant, or dominating. A bone-crushing vice-grip is just plain obnoxious and one of the fastest ways to make someone angry.”

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“What does a solid, comfortable, impressive handshake look and feel like? To deliver a great handshake . . . • Extend your right hand out vertically at a comfortable waist level toward the person you are meeting. • Connect hands with web to web contact made between the thumb and index finger. • Be intentional and appropriate by showing mutual respect and teamwork. • Gently squeeze firmly enough to be confident, yet lightly enough to be gracious. Shake a few times for good measure. • Discreetly rotate your wrist so that your hand is slightly on top of theirs when you want to subconsciously convey self-assurance. • Make eye contact and smile to show sincerity. Throw in an acknowledging head nod for good measure. Avoiding eye contact may be interpreted that you are not attentive or have something to hide. • Introduce yourself and when they share their name, repeat it back to them to help you remember it. “It is nice to meet you John.” • When in doubt, mirror their handshake to adapt to what makes them feel comfortable. Customize accordingly to the gender, age, position, personality, and culture of the person you are meeting.”

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“Palm Reading 101 • Palm Up— Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy. • Palm Down—Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control. • Palm Vertical—Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting. • Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy—Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited. • Palm Perfect—This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder.”

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“High fives and fist bumps have become the popular alternatives to traditional handshakes, especially among the younger generations. As a new social norm, they are used as a greeting, an approval, an acknowledgement, a celebration, and a gesture of understanding. High fives and fist bumps are also viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional handshakes because they don’t spread germs.”

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“Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes • Be mindful of a person’s age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion. • Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. • Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. • Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.”

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“All hugs are not created equal. Some people are naturally gifted in showering others with warmth and affection. They can hug with such a sincere intention it transcends a handshake. Their hugs feel genuine, non-threatening, and are emotionally consistent with the relationship they share with the "hugee.”

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“communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, emotional intelligence quotes, motivational speaker Susan Young, body language quotes, handshake quotes, make a positive first impression quotes, susanspeaks.com, customer service quotes”

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“Brian is a deeply compassionate man who was sad to learn that his work colleague, Tom, had lost his 17-year-old daughter to a drug overdose. When Tom returned to work weeks later, Brian approached him and said, “Man, I am so sorry. There are no words to express my condolences. “Brian reached out to hug Tom. At first, he was rigid and on guard, but with Brian’s genuine embrace, he felt Tom release into his safety. Tom had been so incredibly strong for his wife and family that Brian’s powerful hug allowed him to surrender into another man’s strength. It was a memorable and powerful step towards healing. Sometimes a hug at the right time, even if spontaneous, can be the kindest thing you can do for another human being.”

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“Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they’ve given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then.”

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“Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner’s. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success. As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman’s reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business.”

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“Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched—men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people’s cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.”

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“Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a “hand hug.” This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved.”

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“Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well—and help you make a great first impression.”

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“Approachability. Being warm and inviting demonstrates comfort, care, and emotional safety all of which encourages engagement. Your openness says, “I’m happy to meet you and am glad you’re here.”

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“Handshakes, Hugs & Other Touching. Learning how to touch appropriately can elevate your presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence.”

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“Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.”

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“Smiling and Expressions of Emotion. A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, and encouraging. People do read a book by its cover and your expressions provide a glimpse for what they’ll find inside.”

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“Eye Contact. Direct eye contact is one of the best compliments you can give to another. You are subliminally telling them that you are listening, they matter, and that what they have to say is important.”

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“Energy & Aura. You release your own distinctive energy signature which naturally produces a physical presence. When you emit positive energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, you attract more positives into your life.”

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“Become aware of the physical distance and spatial orientation that you experience while in the company of others. Being empathetic and sensitive to a person’s physical comfort zone can have a huge effect on the way in which you are received and perceived.”

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“I have a few friends who are confined to wheelchairs for access and mobility. I don't want to always be looking down at them while they are looking up at me. To enjoy a meaningful conversation, I’m quick to kneel beside them or pull up a chair to talk at the same height. Begin to recognize the orientation of other people and align yourself with their body position and physical needs so that you may connect on a more balanced and effective level.”

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“The Warm Welcome of Hospitality. Walt Disney World is the epitome of world-class customer service. Employees must be hyper-vigilant of spatial orientation to engage, impress, and interact with guests. For simply being near a guest, employees are trained to: • Make eye contact and smile. • Greet and welcome each and every guest. • Seek out guest contact. • Provide immediate service recovery. • Always display appropriate body language. • Preserve the “magical” guest experience. • Thank each guest and demonstrate that appreciation.”

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“Many hospitality companies follow the "5 and 10 Rule," whereby when a customer is within ten feet of the employee, they should provide acknowledgement with eye contact and a genuine smile. When the customer is within five feet, it is encouraged to provide a warm welcome, sincere greeting, a friendly gesture, and offer to help, or to engage him or her in conversation.”

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“In the legend of Camelot, King Arthur gave consideration as to how his knights might be positioned spatially to impart a message of power and status. He decided they would have their meetings at a round table, which meant that they were all considered equal and there was no “head of the table.” He built a league based on equality and mutual respect to unify and fortify the power of teamwork.”

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“When you are sitting behind a desk with a person on the other side, there is a barrier between you that becomes a psychological and subliminal message. Some of the best leaders I know have a round table or a circle of chairs in their offices so that when people come in to speak with them, the arrangement lends itself to more engaging interaction. Using a roundtable in which there is no head fosters collaboration, cooperation, mutual respect, and equal positioning.”

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“When having lunch or dinner at a long rectangular table, I prefer to take a middle chair so that I can turn to my left or to my right to make meaningful conversation with the people in attendance. When I have been seated at the very end, it can prove to be difficult to speak, hear, and connect with everyone there. Think ahead, and whenever possible, put yourself in the middle of the action!”

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“Proxemics is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behavior, social interaction, and communication. Imagine invisible bubbles around every person that provides each of us with comfort zones for social engagement and interaction.”

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“In 1966, American anthropologist Edward T. Hall specified four distinct distance zones to describe the perception of physical space around us. Understanding these zones and honoring their invisible boundaries will give you a sixth sense about another person’s “space” as well as your own. Intimate Zone (less than 2’) —This zone represents our personal space and is reserved for the most trusted and loved people in our lives. Touching, hugging, standing side by side, and engaging in private conversations is common and encouraged. When an interloper violates this personal space, great discomfort and awkwardness can be created. What to do? Take a step back or sideways. Personal Zone (2’-4’) —This is the distance for interaction with good friends, family, social gatherings, or parties. It's an easy and relaxed space for talking, shaking hands, gesturing, laughing and making faces. Social Zone (4’-12') —This zone seems to be an appropriate distance for casual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to interact. It is the comfortable distance we maintain while interacting or addressing large groups of people. Public Zone (over 12’) —This is the distance we keep from strangers or persons with little acquaintance. It provides the greatest distance between people. This is a safe space that still allows us to experience community and belonging with new people.”

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“As you seek new opportunities to make favorable first impressions, be ever aware of the subtle effect that physical positioning and distance/closeness can have on your interactions with others and use this understanding to your advantage.”

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“As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses is elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport—he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.”

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“As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses are elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport—he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.”

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“To touch or not to touch . . . that is the question. Handshakes, hugs, and other touching all have their appropriate space and place. The key to success in this area is to know when, where, and how to best put these into action.”

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“What is acceptable on a personal level is very different from what is acceptable on a business level. When we utilize touch well, we can elevate our presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence. However, when we use touch poorly, it can be disastrous, personally and professionally.”

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