Susan Juby Quotes

Novelist

Susan Juby, born on March 30, 1969, is a Canadian novelist known for her humorous and insightful works that primarily explore themes of identity, gender, and religion.

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Famous Susan Juby Quotes

“I had this vision of the two of us holding hands or getting into some light petting behind shower curtains or up in the fencing aisle or some shit.”

Humor Romantic Crush Seth Home Depot Light Petting Salesgirl

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“Earl had let Bertie off the porch for some fresh grass and I didn't want Dr. Eustace to see her. She still looked as though we'd put Hannibal Lecter in charge of her shearing and had hired the special effects team from Night of the Living Dead to bandage her.”

Humor Sheep Farm Wool Bandage Shearing

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“Fucking Hallmark never wrote anything for how I felt then. When Metallica and the rest of the metal community pitched in to pay for Acrassicauda, the Iraqi heavy metal band, to move to the US is the only thing that comes close. And maybe the late-breaking success of Anvil. I had a toasty heart, especially after I got called back to pick up first prize for Miss Frizz. Ah, never mind. You know what I'm saying.”

Humor Winning Touching Moments

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“I debated whether to tell them I had long since abandoned my writing career and moved into radishes and fraud, but decided the timing was wrong.”

Writing Humor Fraud Prudence Radishes

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“This bastard was in a self-help program? For what? Square-jawed, cleft-chin sufferers? Handsome Bastards Anonymous?”

Humor Self Help Envy Handsome Seth Eustace

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“It's been a pretty tough day," he said. "No sense making it worse with a salad.”

Humor Salad Healthy Food Seth

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“...like the twig furniture she made, thinking it was going to make us rich, only she's shit with a hammer and nails and the stuff ended up being deadly. You were practically begging for a colonoscopy if you sat on it.”

Humor Dangerous Crafts Furniture Seth Colonoscopy

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“Good luck with that," I said. Because seriously. The fuck? Strawberry social? Did I somehow move onto the set of the remake of Little House on the Prairie?”

Humor Seth Little House On The Prairie Strawberry Social

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

“My mom made the trays out of kits she bought at Michaels. She's crackled the shit out of them so they look like they're covered in diseased rhino skins.”

Humor Crafts Seth Crackle

Book:Home to Woefield

Source: Home to Woefield

About the Author

Born: March 30, 1969
Known for: Novelist
Quotes: 19

Books & Sources

Home to WoefieldRelated source material

Republic of Dirt: A Return to Woefield FarmRelated source material

Miss SmithersRelated source material

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