Quotessence
Home / Books / Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

Book by Terry Pratchett · 8 quotes · Good Omens, Humor, Omen

Filter quotes by topic

AllGood OmensHumorOmenPeopleAngelEvilHeavenHellThinkingHumourReligionSatanWorldAffairBeastBuiltCoursesCreedsDeathDemon

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch Quotes

“I don’t reckon it’s allowed, going round setting fire to people,” said Adam. “Otherwise people’d be doin’ it all the time.” “It’s all right if you’re religious,” said Brian reassuringly. “And it stops the witches from goin’ to Hell, so I expect they’d be quite grateful if they understood it properly.”

HeavenHellFireHumourWitches
Book:Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
Create image

“Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what Heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn’t get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell.”

HumorHeavenHell
Book:Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
Create image

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”

GodHumorEinsteinGaiman
Book:Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
Create image

“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: 'Learn, guys...”

HumorContracts
Book:Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
Create image