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Quote by Demetri Martin

“Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.”

Quote by Demetri Martin

Author

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, writer, and actor known for his unique and witty humor style. He is recognized for his sharp wit and satirical commentary, often performing in television shows, movies, and stage performances. Born on May 25, 1973, Martin's career began in New York comedy clubs. more

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“You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.”

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“If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.”

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“Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.”

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“I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.”

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“You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.”

Thinking Trying Different Shows Problem Form Asks Five Four Minutes Starting Drawing Different Things Five Minutes Playing Music Starting Out

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“I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“I believe if there is any place left where the humanity is still visible, it can not be anywhere else than in an Islamic society. Time would come when the world would be obliged to accept this reality.”

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“The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers.”

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Author:Demetri Martin