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Quote by Frankie Boyle

“I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia.”

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Frankie Boyle is a British comedian, writer, and television presenter known for his satirical and sharp political humor. He is recognized for his unique sense of humor and insightful commentary on social and political issues. more

“You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."”

Looks Reason Humor Funny House Energy Realizing Watches Too Much Like You Right Now Picks Letters Connections Neighbor Lazy No Reason Finding Yourself Host Mail Being Lazy Love Connection

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"”

People Knows Two Humor Funny Lines Forget Fronts Standing Okay Machines Things To Do Seconds Cash Forget It Free Time

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."”

Persons Sometimes Humor Running Funny Night Hours Trouble Late Busy Smell Smoke Lazy Weekend Showers Monday Friday Friday Night Being Lazy 48 Hours Running Late

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."”

Ifs Looks Two Humor Funny Turns Steps Tvs Work Out Gym Going To Work Watching Tv Remote Control

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."”

Dream Humor Funny Used Morning Clubs Every Morning Alarms Techno

Author:Jim Gaffigan

Quote by Frankie Boyle

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