Home / Quotes / Quote by Craig Ferguson

Quote by Craig Ferguson

“In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

You May Also Like

“Pies were invented 12,000 years ago by the Egyptians. It was an easy way to preserve food that would be carried over long distances. They were like ancient Slim Jims.”

Way Years Long Would Be Easy Years Ago Distance Ancient Preserves Pie Long Distance Easy Way Slim

Author:Craig Ferguson

“I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.”

Thinking School Teacher Appreciated Greatest Gifts

Author:Craig Ferguson

“For a while, some schools across the country were banning spelling bees. For obvious reasons, of course - steroids”

Country Reason School Courses Obvious Bees Spelling Steroid

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts.”

Needs Years Shows School Law Lawyer Host Law School Talk Shows

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.”

People Watches Shocked Cnn Rioting

Author:Craig Ferguson

“If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain.”

People Ifs Thinking Shows Watches Cooking British Britain Cables Good Cook Cooking Shows

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Lance Armstrong admitted he used performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career. He confessed in front of the most respected judge in the land, Oprah Winfrey.”

Used Careers Land Fronts Judging Drug Performances Armstrong Performance Enhancing Drugs

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other tofu-shaped boxes filled with bean curd. Then they fantasize about what their Pilates instructor would be like if he was straight.”

People Ifs Giving Littles Would Be Filled Boxes Chocolate Valentine Valentine's Day Beans Calories Instructors Pilates Tofu

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.”

Ifs Men World Beautiful Walks Priests Italian Interiors Celibacy Decorators

Author:Craig Ferguson

“According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.”

America Born Study Hawaii

Author:Craig Ferguson