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Quote by David Letterman

“I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.”

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David Letterman

David Letterman, born on April 12, 1947, is a renowned talk show host from the United States. Known for his unique humor and sharp interviewing skills, Letterman has long been associated with his late-night show. His program has been beloved by audiences for its in-depth interviews, humorous segments, and the iconic 'Late Show Top Ten' list. more

“I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day!'”

Ifs Mean Water Duty News Standing Plant Terrorist Poison Treatment Reporters Standing Out Wipe Noon Manuals Harps

Author:Jay Leno

“Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing. What genius came up with this promotion? What's next - a ticking alarm clock? Let's put that in a box.”

Has Beens Next Given Genius Boxes Clock Warning Timing Mistaken Publishers Promotion Alarms Laundry Inspectors Alarm Clocks Anthrax Laundry Detergent

Author:Jay Leno

“Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.”

Trying Wells Might Past Air Security Shoes Pairs Airline Pair Of Shoes Turbulence Nike Airline Security

Author:Jay Leno

“Attorney General John Ashcroft said there is a new credible terrorist threat. He said everything is under control; not to panic. And then he went back to his harmonically sealed bunker.”

Said Threat Terrorist Panic Attorney Credible Bunkers

Author:Jay Leno

Quote by David Letterman

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