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Quote by Sheila Matharu

“You know, Sam, the other night as darkness descended, it occurred to me that our essence is that of the stars. Perhaps, we were part of the stars at some point in the past and will be again in the future. Isn’t that amazing? What we are now is just one of the millions of temporary states we will take during the course of time…. I do not fear the darkness any longer, I focus on the stars….”

Quote by Sheila Matharu

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Darkness

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Sheila Matharu

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“I have always liked mornings when light brightens without warming, instrumental but not distracting. Seiya, on the other hand, prefers afternoons when energies run high and you are most easily engaged in what happens around you.” She paused to take a deep breath. “I had forgotten, but now that I remember, it seems just like yesterday. I remember Bowe telling me that she liked nights the most. She described them as the most forgiving time of day, the time when she felt most free to be herself…despite the fact that she was my best friend, I think I never quite understood Bowe as well as I thought. I remember she once told me that she felt like she did not belong to the world. It shocked me. I thought that she was exaggerating. Though I knew that she suffered from depression, I thought she was exaggerating…. I knew about the cutting but I thought it was just a phase and that she would soon grow out of it…but seeing Bowe again, finding her so thin and grey, I can’t help but wonder whether I was wrong…” she added absently. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Sam. You know the people in your life better than you think. I have always thought that in life, at times, it is as if we were watching things through a pair of binoculars. Our vision is limited to what we see through the lenses. So much might be missed. Things that are actually quite small may appear disproportionately large. When in doubt, Shane and I have often turned towards the stars. They put our lives in perspective and remind us that measured on the scale of the universe our problems are not as big as they seem to be…. It helps us approach them more calmly.”

“I’ve always felt safer at night. You can be much more forgiving of yourself, not to mention the world and everyone in it, when your shortcomings aren’t threatened by the brazen light of day. And by shortcomings, I mean damage. The scars are still there, but at least they're easier to hide. I never understood why they shine a fluorescent spotlight in the faces of alleged culprits in old movies to get them to tell the truth. Put me to bed and turn off the lights. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll be who you want me to be, I’ll be honest. I’ll be who I want to be, I’ll be braver. Just don’t ignore me. I really do want to be stronger, sweeter, less afraid all the time. Maybe it’s a within-the-womb thing, but it’s safer in the dark. What they should really warn you about is the light.”