Home / Quotes / Quote by Chelsea Handler

Quote by Chelsea Handler

“Boy George has been charged with falsely imprisoning a man who'd gone to his apartment to pose for photographs. Going to Boy George's house to get your picture taken is like going to David Copperfield's island for a radio opportunity.”

Quote by Chelsea Handler

Author

Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler, born on February 25, 1975, is a renowned American comedian, writer, and television host. Known for her unique sense of humor and candid remarks, she has hosted several popular television shows and achieved significant success in the comedy industry. more

You May Also Like

“Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.”

World Way Should Trying Mother Lines Doubt Please News Letters Communicate Newspapers Best Way Worried Cocaine Amy Spelling

Author:Chelsea Handler

“According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.”

Strong New York Serious Dating Posts Yellow Belts Armstrong Bracelet Ashley

Author:Chelsea Handler

“According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?”

Doe Home Night Style Models Bars Seats Bananas Kim Armstrong Ashley

Author:Chelsea Handler

“According to Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent may be working on Lindsay Lohan's next album. Finally, a match made in rap heaven. He's a convicted drug dealer who's been shot nine times, and she spent 84 minutes in prison. This is a big step for Lindsay. The last time Lindsay got near a black guy she ran over his foot.”

May Made Bigs Lasts Guy Next Heaven Black Steps Feet Minutes Style Drug Shots Prison Albums Rap Nine Ran Cents Last Time Dealer Drug Dealers Black Guys

Author:Chelsea Handler

“According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.”

People Ifs School Guy Study Teacher Kissing Catholic Priests Articles Public School Cnn Getting Laid Catholic School

Author:Chelsea Handler

“A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?”

Guy Half Saws Happened Islands Threatened July Jury Old Days Investigating Good Old Days Allegations Bahamas Grand Jury

Author:Chelsea Handler

“The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.”

Knows Want Feels Believe Shows Wanted Numbers Know How Week Albums Believe In Me Horns Spears Billboards Blackouts

Author:Chelsea Handler

“Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.”

Appearance Miles Fees Charging Personal Appearance

Author:Chelsea Handler

“Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'”

Thinking Known Dad Drink Clubs Opening Twins Embarrassing Great Times Your Dad

Author:Chelsea Handler

“Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.”

Ifs Waiting Crazy Impatient

Author:Chelsea Handler