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Quote by Bo Burnham

“Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.”

Quote by Bo Burnham

Author

Bo Burnham, born on August 21, 1990, is a talented comedian known for his unique and satirical humor style. He has gained widespread recognition in the comedy world for his insightful commentary on contemporary social issues. more

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“There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?”

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“Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.”

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“I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.”

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“And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.”

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“I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.”

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“People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'”

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“All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.”

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“I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.”

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“I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.”

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“Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.”

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