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Quote by Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Cynthia Heimel

Cynthia Heimel was an American writer born on July 13, 1947, and passed away on February 25, 2018. Known for her unique sense of humor and feminist perspective, her work spanned various forms including novels, essays, and memoirs. more

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“Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several years trying to kill themselves. If your home contains a sharp, toxic object, your baby will locate it; if your home contains no such object, your baby will try to obtain one via mail order.”

IfsTryingYearsFirstsChildrenHomeHumorKidsFunnyOrderCausesNumbersObjectsBabyBirthBehaviorHumorousPatternsToxicMailReflexesBehavior Patterns
Book:Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home
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“Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which case baby's room should be in Peru.”

WantShouldChildrenEnoughHumorKidsFunnySleepRoomsCasesCryBabyHumorousYour RoomPeru
Book:Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home
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“Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”

ShouldChildrenHumorLightKidsFunnyLastsJoyEnjoyHoursChurchBabyLaughterHumorousMeetingsLifetimeAfter Hours
Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist
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“Saints are like trees. They do not call to anyone, neither do they send anyone away. They give shelter to whoever cares to come, be it a man, woman, child, or an animal. If you sit under a tree it will protect you from the weather, from the scorching sun as well as from the pouring rain, and it will give you flowers and fruit. Whether a human being enjoys them or a bird tastes of them matters little to the tree; its produce is there for anyone who comes and takes it.”

IfsMenGivingHumansWellsChildrenLittlesMatterCareEnjoyHuman BeingsAnimalSunTreeProduceFlowerTasteProtectBirdRainFruitSaintWeatherShelterMen WomenPouringProtect YouScorchingPouring Rain
Author:Anandamayi Ma
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“It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance.”

WellsHumorSeemsFunnyAsksWaitingHumorousCrisisEdgesStrangerMissionsAidsCanadaHallsSelflessPerpetualIgnoredHistoricCanada DayHappy Canada Day
Author:Kevin Myers
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