“Every institution goes through three stages - utility, privilege, and abuse.” Quote by François-René de Chateaubriand
“One does not learn how to die by killing others.” DoeDiesKillingKilling Others Author:François-René de Chateaubriand
“My downfall made a great noise: those who appeared most satisfied criticized the manner of it.” MadeSatisfiedNoiseDownfall Author:François-René de Chateaubriand
“From the minute we're born, boys and girls stare at each other, trying to figure out if they like what they see. Like parade lines, passing each other for mutual inspection. You march, you look. You march, you look. If you're interested, you stop and talk, and if it doesn't work out, you just get back in the parade. You keep marching, and you keep looking.” IfsTryingLooksGirlBornLinesBoysMinutesFiguresDatingWork OutPassingPassingsStaringMutualMarchGet BackParadesBoy And GirlInspection Author:Paul Reiser
“Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.” YearsDogKitchenGood Dog Author:Paul Reiser
“When my son said, "I can't stop thinking about girls," I said, "That's not gonna stop. Congratulations. You're in the club. From now until the day you die, one way or another you'll be thinking about girls.” ThinkingWaySaidI CanDiesGirlWomenSonClubsOne WayMy SonCongratulations Author:Paul Reiser
“In some cultures they don't name their babies right away. They wait until they see how the child develops. Like in Dances with Wolves. Unfortunately, our kids' names would be less romantic and poetic. "This is my oldest boy, Falls off His Tricycle, his friend, Dribbles His Juice, and my beautiful daughter, Allergic to Nuts.” ChildrenWould BeKidsBeautifulFallCultureNamesWaitingBoysBabyDaughterPoeticNutsJuiceAllergicDribbleBeautiful DaughterTricycles Author:Paul Reiser
“That's the nice thing about doing stand-up. There's no development, you just go out there and get an immediate response as to whether something is good or bad. Getting a laugh is the best measure of how well you're doing.” WellsLaughingNiceDevelopmentResponseNice Things Author:Paul Reiser
“When I'm writing for a book, it's much more reflective process. I have certain things that may not translate well to the stage, but, when they're on the page, people can really get into them. My first two books were aiming to be funnier, but the third was more about deep exploration. Things about being a parent and growing older that I thought would be perfect for a book.” PeopleWritingFirstsWellsMayTwoBookWould BeCertainProcessParentPerfectGrowingStagePagesThirdsExplorationTranslateGrowing OldBeing A ParentGrowing Older Author:Paul Reiser
“Jerry Lewis played on the very first season of Mad About You, and he played basically himself, but he was called some other name. He said he's never done it; he'd never done a half-hour of [sitcom] television. This was 1992 or '93. And I said, "Well how is that?" And he goes, "Nobody ever asked me." It's like the pretty girl at the dance; everybody's too afraid to ask.” FirstsWellsSaidDoneGirlAsksNamesHoursHalfTelevisionSeasonsMadSitcomJerryHalf HoursPretty Girl Author:Paul Reiser
“I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.” I CanFactsPastWifeEntertainmentMy WifeBarsBreastsComing OutJuice Author:Paul Reiser