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Quote by Paul Reiser

“Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.”

Author

Paul Reiser is an American comedian, writer, and television producer. Known for his unique humor and profound emotional insights, he is best known for his work on the sitcom 'Paul Reiser' and his books 'I, Paul' and 'I, Paul 2'. more

“In some cultures they don't name their babies right away. They wait until they see how the child develops. Like in Dances with Wolves. Unfortunately, our kids' names would be less romantic and poetic. "This is my oldest boy, Falls off His Tricycle, his friend, Dribbles His Juice, and my beautiful daughter, Allergic to Nuts.”

Children Would Be Kids Beautiful Fall Culture Names Waiting Boys Baby Daughter Poetic Nuts Juice Allergic Dribble Beautiful Daughter Tricycles

Author:Paul Reiser

“That's the nice thing about doing stand-up. There's no development, you just go out there and get an immediate response as to whether something is good or bad. Getting a laugh is the best measure of how well you're doing.”

Wells Laughing Nice Development Response Nice Things

Author:Paul Reiser

“When I'm writing for a book, it's much more reflective process. I have certain things that may not translate well to the stage, but, when they're on the page, people can really get into them. My first two books were aiming to be funnier, but the third was more about deep exploration. Things about being a parent and growing older that I thought would be perfect for a book.”

People Writing Firsts Wells May Two Book Would Be Certain Process Parent Perfect Growing Stage Pages Thirds Exploration Translate Growing Old Being A Parent Growing Older

Author:Paul Reiser

“Jerry Lewis played on the very first season of Mad About You, and he played basically himself, but he was called some other name. He said he's never done it; he'd never done a half-hour of [sitcom] television. This was 1992 or '93. And I said, "Well how is that?" And he goes, "Nobody ever asked me." It's like the pretty girl at the dance; everybody's too afraid to ask.”

Firsts Wells Said Done Girl Asks Names Hours Half Television Seasons Mad Sitcom Jerry Half Hours Pretty Girl

Author:Paul Reiser

“I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.”

I Can Facts Past Wife Entertainment My Wife Bars Breasts Coming Out Juice

Author:Paul Reiser

“I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates. I had a poor year, but even if I had hit .350, this would have been my last year. I was full of aches an pains and it had become a chore for me to play. When baseball is no longer fun, it's no longer a game.”

Ifs Feels Years Has Beens I Can Play Pain Lasts Games Fun Poor Stage Produce Baseball Clubs Managers Last Year Ache Teammate Chores

Author:Joe DiMaggio

“When you have five or six potential hall of famers on your team ... that's when you win penants and championships. The only thing you have to be concerned about is getting the ballplayers to bed on time.”

Winning Five Team Bed Six Concerned Halls Championship

Author:Joe DiMaggio

“At my age, I'm just happy to be named the greatest living anything.”

Age

Author:Joe DiMaggio

“Ballplayers are a superstitious breed, nobody more than I, and while you are winning you'd murder anybody who tried to change your sweatshirt, let alone your uniform.”

Winning Murder Uniforms Superstitious Sweatshirts

Book:Nice Guys Finish Last

Source: Nice Guys Finish Last

Quote by Paul Reiser

Author

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