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Single, Saved, and Having Sex

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Ty Adams

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“Another day, sheltering beneath trees in a rain-shower, I uncovered a doorway long obliterated by undergrowth. After pulling shrubbery aside, I stepped inside a long deserted summerhouse, fronted by cracked marble columns and ironwork, the rear extending deep into the hillside. Though still filthy, even after I cleared away the tenacious vines, the windowpanes gave sufficient greenish light for me to sketch indoors. In a cobwebbed corner stood a gardener's burner that must once have coaxed oranges or other delicate shrubs to life. With that alight, I found a chair and sat with my shawl muffled around me as I sketched. The marble statues that lined the walls were fine copies of the Greek masters, with muscular limbs and serene faces, though sadly disfigured with a blueish-green patina. As an exercise, I copied a figure of a handsome boy, admiring the sculptor's rendering of tensed muscle, the body frozen just an instant before extending in action. My mind drifted to Michael, the uncertainty hanging over us, my urges to please him, my need to move beyond this stupid impasse. As I sketched the statue's blind eyes I half-heartedly followed his line of sight. I stood and looked more closely at the statue. "What are you looking at?" I said out loud. A green stain blotted the boy's cheek, ugly but also strangely beautiful, for the color was a peacock's viridian. For the first time I noticed the description, "HARPOCRATES- SILENCE", engraved on the pediment, and had a vague recollection of a Roman boy-god who personified that virtue. He held one index finger raised coyly to his lips, while his other hand pointed towards a low arch in the wall. I paced over to the spot at which he pointed. The niche was filled with gardener's trellis that I removed with rising excitement. Behind stood an oak doorway set low in the wall. As I lifted the latch, it opened onto a blast of chilly darkness. Lighting the stub of a candle at the stove, I propped the door open and ventured inside. At once I knew this was no gardeners' store, but another tunnel burrowing into the hillside. Setting forth with the excitement of new discovery, my footsteps rang out and my breath fogged before me in clouds. The place had a mossy, mineral smell, and save for the dripping of water, was silent. Though at first the tunnel ran straight, it soon descended an incline, and my feet splashed into muddy puddles. Who, I wondered, had last passed through that door?”

“In the past, humans hesitated when they took lives, even non-human lives. But society had changed, and they no longer felt that way. As humans grew stronger, I think that we became quite arrogant, losing the sorrow of 'we have no other choice.' I think that in the essence of human civilization, we have the desire to become rich without limit, by taking the lives of other creatures.”

“Tell me you didn’t really watch Nausicaa.” Miho tried to keep a serious face, which must have been difficult enough in her flannel Hello Kitty pajamas. But the girl was a terrible liar. She smirked. “No. Kiki just ended. So much for our Miyazaki marathon.” “We got through two movies,” Sakura said. “Tonight, that’s a marathon.” They’d wanted to watch movies tonight, just to clear their minds, and had agreed on nothing violent. All three of them loved the films of Miyazaki, who had become perhaps the most successful director in Japan while making only animated films. Kara had vetoed Howl’s Moving Castle because she’d seen it too recently, and they had all seen My Neighbor Totoro far too many times, so they had started with Spirited Away.”

“Es una especie de misterio, pero hay que intentear entenderlo, sirviéndose de la fantasía, y olvidar lo que se sabe de modo que la imaginación pueda vagabundear en libertad, corriendo lejos por el interios de las cosas hasta ver que el alma no es siempre diamante sino a veces velo de seda-esto puedo entenderlo-imagínate un velo de seda trasparente, cualquier cosa podría rasgarlo, incluso una mirada, y piensa en la mano que lo coge- una mano de mujer- sí- se mueve lentamente y lo aprieta entre los dedos, pero apretarlo es ya demasiado, lo levanta como si no fuera una mano, sino un golpe de viento, y lo encierra entre los dedos como si no fueran dedos sino...- como si no fueran dedos sino pensamientos. Así es. Esta habitación es esa mano, y mi hija es un velo de seda [...] - Edel, ¿hay algún modo de conseguir hombres que no hagan daño? Eso debe habérselo preguntado Dios también, en su momento. - No lo sé, pero lo intentaré”

“Let us consider a sad illumination. The Manhattan office worker moves througha clutter of factory-made, anonymous furniture to a plastic, impersonal kitchen, tobreakfast on canned, packaged anonymous food-fuel; dresses hirself in theanonymous-city-dweller costume, travels through dark tunnels of sooty metal andgray concrete to a dark metal room, foul with polluted air. All day s/he deals withsymbols that have no relevance to hir divine possibilities. This person issurrounded by the dreary, impersonal, assembly-line, mass-produced, anonymousenvironment of an automated robot, which perfectly mirrors hir “turned off’awareness. When this person “turns on,” s/he sees at once the horror of hir surroundings. Ifs/he “tunes in,” s/he begins to change hir movements and hir surroundings sothat they become more in harmony with hir internal beauty. If everyone inManhattan were to “turn on” and “tune in,” grass would grow on First Avenueand tieless, shoeless divinities would dance or roller-skate down the carlessstreets. Ecological consciousness would emerge within 25 years. Fish would swimin a clear-blue Hudson.”