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Quote by Iliza Shlesinger

“Ladies, just know that when you grow your hair too long, you got about two inches difference between really hot, sexy supermodel - religious fanatic. Hot Maxim cover girl everybody wants a mouth kiss - unhealthy faith in your lord. Soft, silky, shiny hair everyone wants to touch - one of 12 brides.”

Author

Iliza Shlesinger

Iliza Shlesinger is an American comedian known for her unique humor style and witty performances. Born on February 22, 1983, she has gained popularity in the comedy world through her participation in comedy competitions and television shows. Shlesinger's work focuses on satirical social phenomena and everyday life, which has won her a dedicated fan base. more

“I was in New York last Christmas - it's snowing; there's a guy in a t-shirt. I'm like, 'Dude, aren't you cold?' 'No, I'm from New York. I don't get cold.' Just 'cause you're from a cold place doesn't mean you're genetically predisposed to not feeling cold. You're not a penguin. I was like, 'In fact, sir, you're Puerto Rican, so if anything, you should be more cold.”

Ifs Should Mean Facts Feelings Lasts Guy Causes New York Cold Snow Shirts T Shirt Penguins

Author:Iliza Shlesinger

“I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm not black - but if I was then I could dance better.”

Ifs Wells Black Race Jokes Jew Uncomfortable

Author:Iliza Shlesinger

“If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.”

Ifs Belief Conflict

Author:Brad Stine

“You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.”

People Knows Want Trying Country Religion Rights Citizens Comic Contradiction Illegal Spheres Offended Freedom Of Religion

Author:Brad Stine