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Brad Stine

Brad Stine Quotes

Comedian

Brad Stine, born in 1960, is a renowned comedian known for his unique sense of humor and popularity among audiences. His comedic works cover a wide range of topics, from daily life to social phenomena, showcasing his keen observation and exceptional humor.

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All Ifs Knows Believe People Way Country Offended Wells Comedy Correctness

Famous Brad Stine Quotes

“Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?”

Believe Guy Irrational Offended

Book:Live from Middle America: Rants from a Red-State Comedian

Source: Live from Middle America: Rants from a Red-State Comedian

“If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.”

Ifs Atheism Crutches Coma

Author:Brad Stine

“Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?”

Government School Going Away Textbooks Katrina

Author:Brad Stine

“I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.”

Knows Shows Missing

Author:Brad Stine

“If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.”

Ifs Belief Conflict

Author:Brad Stine

“You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.”

People Knows Want Trying Country Religion Rights Citizens Comic Contradiction Illegal Spheres Offended Freedom Of Religion

Author:Brad Stine

“We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.”

People Way Should Wells Feelings Hurt Mouths Should Have Breaths Phones Teeth Bored Brushes Phone Calls Gum Bad Breath

Author:Brad Stine

“Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it's the tobacco company's fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let's blame the gun industry!”

Ifs Knows Company Industry Gun Blame Faults Fats Hey Smoke Loud Smoking Tobacco Mcdonalds

Author:Brad Stine

“Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested.”

Ifs Way Women Sides Heard Come Up Not Interested Masculine Sexist

Author:Brad Stine

“God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma.”

Believe Wells Yeah Believe In God Crutches Coma

Author:Brad Stine

“When did banning anything, ever work? I mean, we banned liquor once in this country, oh, that worked like a charm, didn't it, folks? You couldn't find a drink in the roaring 20's, could ya? See that's the problem with the banning thing! I say why stop there, let's not ban guns, I know, let's ban crime!”

Knows Mean Country Problem Crime Drink Gun Folks Charm Liquor Bans Banned Roaring

Author:Brad Stine

“The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.”

Knows Truth Hurt Truth Is

Author:Brad Stine

“They got special terms that they use when they're pregnant. They don't even say pregnant, got special words they use - I'm expecting. Expecting what? I'm expecting a child, silly. Well, then, you probably got a good shot!”

Wells Children Use Term Special Shots Silly Expecting Pregnant

Author:Brad Stine

“I hope that nothing ever wussifies me to deny my own personal beliefs. Brainwashed wussies have been taught that standing up for yourself and defending your personal point of view makes you a close-minded hate monger. One must also be respectful of dissenting belief while supporting their own.”

Has Beens Hate Belief My Own Views Taught Standing Deny Point Of View Respectful Brainwashed Be Respectful Stand Up For Yourself Personal Beliefs Close Minded

Author:Brad Stine

“You're not a bunch of people lock-stepped with the politically correct. Oh no! Don't shoot the animals! They might get their feelings hurt!”

People Feelings Might Hurt Animal Bunch Locks Hurt Feelings Politically Correct

Author:Brad Stine

“People don't realize, or maybe they've forgotten, that there was a time in history when standup comedy wasn't something that you had to hide your kids' ears from.”

People Kids Realizing Comedy Ears Forgotten

Author:Brad Stine

“Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.”

Self Matter Purpose Self Esteem Creator Esteem

Author:Brad Stine

“The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue!”

Ifs Way Care Political Issues Don't Care I Don't Care Offended Political Correctness Correctness

Author:Brad Stine

“If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever.”

Ifs Knows Dies Forever Eternal There Is No God Unconsciousness

Author:Brad Stine

“When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it.”

People Ifs Knows Comedy Clubs Drunk Yelling Comedy Clubs Booing

Author:Brad Stine

“You want to reclaim your country? You got to go back to the first men who started this country, the founding fathers and this is going to be shocking for the liberal professors out there that are indoctrinating our kids but the founding fathers believed in the Judeo-Christian god that believed we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness! You can pursuit it. If you don't get it, it's your fault! You messed up. Go back to work. Work harder.”

“The wussification of America is killing us by teaching us to censor ourselves from what we believe. That's why I want to see political correctness die in my lifetime, but first... I want to watch it suffer.”

Want Firsts Believe America Political Suffering Dies Politics Watches Teaching Lifetime Killing Political Correctness Correctness

Author:Brad Stine

“Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what we believe in, what we are like.”

Ifs Believe Wells Done Nations Comedy Mirrors Mood Who We Are

Author:Brad Stine

“I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.”

Two Suffering Scared Phobia

Author:Brad Stine

“Conservative concepts believe in little government - take care of yourself, and that makes men who invent things like the constitution! Liberal thought has big government - we'll take care of you - and that creates boys and they create things like Occupy Wall Street! There's a difference between the way men and boys behave.”

Men Way Believe Littles Bigs Government Care Differences Boys Streets Wall Concepts Constitution Conservative Take Care Behave Big Government Take Care Of Yourself Occupy Wall Street

Author:Brad Stine

“It's about something that strikes you as funny but I do it with a Christian world view: why we think the way we do based on God's plan. I lift up my God and my country and I resist political correctness.”

Thinking World Way Country Christian Political Politics Views Plans Strikes Lifts Political Correctness Correctness World View God's Plan

Author:Brad Stine

“If you can't say something nice... about an overrated, ungrateful European nation that would have been wiped off the face of the earth twice in the twentieth century if it weren't for the United States and which has given nothing to the culture in the past two hundred years but whine and cheese, both of which are made better in California, then don't say anything at all!”

Ifs Years Has Beens Made Two States Earth Past Faces Culture Given Nations United United States Nice Century Hundred California Cheese Say Anything Twentieth Century Overrated Ungrateful

Author:Brad Stine

“I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.”

Long Hate Cat Don't Hate Freeways

Author:Brad Stine

“There's a difference between maliciously offending somebody - on purpose - and somebody being offended by...truth. If you're offended by the truth, that's your problem. I have no obligation to not offend you if I'm speaking the truth. The truth is supposed to offend you; that's how you know you don't got it.”

Ifs Knows Problem Truth Purpose Differences Knowing Truth Is Obligation Offended Speak The Truth Offence Malicious Offending Truth Hurts Bad Intentions

Author:Brad Stine

About the Author

Born: 1960
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 29

Related Topics

Ifs Knows Believe People Way Country Offended Wells Comedy Correctness

Popular Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

Books & Sources

Live from Middle America: Rants from a Red-State ComedianRelated source material

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