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How to Keep House While Drowning

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K.C. Davis

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“I don’t understand how some people take pride in being rude. It’s like they think harsh words or cold behavior make them look strong and unbreakable, but in reality, it shows how small their heart are. You know, softness doesn’t make a person weak; it shows strength. Being rude might get attention for a moment, but it leaves emptiness behind. I have realized that respect and gentle words build bridges, while rudeness only burns them.”

“Imagine if trees wore concealer cause they don’t like their reflection in the lake If the sun didn’t show up at dawn insecure to rise after scrolling her night awake Imagine if the sky used the Juno filter to make itself look paler and smooth out imperfections If earth went online shopping for clay masks to cleanse its pores and other obstructions Imagine birds attaching engines to their wings to fly higher and faster, leaving trails in our springs And now think about the child at the bottom of your eyes about all the other children that you expect to grow wise Do you really want to tell them this is all about their looks? Maybe after some scrolling put their nose into books”

“Healthy people don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship with themselves. Healthy people don’t talk badly to themselves, they practice positive affirmations. Healthy people don’t beat themselves up, they practice self-compassion. Healthy people don’t compare themselves to others’ perfections, they embrace their flaws. Healthy people don’t self-harm, they go to therapy. Healthy people don’t abandon themselves, they show up for themselves every single day”

“Indeed, many relationships identified as “codependent” do involve pride, not low self-worth or a deficiency of selflove. An underlying lie of people married to drunks and other “losers” may be their own sense of mastery and self-confidence in being able to change others through their own wonderful goodness and love. They may have excessive belief in their own ability to help another person, or they may think that others will change just because of being married to them. They may also have high expectations of the spouse being forever grateful for being rescued by such an excellent partner. Then when their heroic efforts fail, they may cast blame onto themselves as well as their spouses, parents, or whomever else might be in the picture. They may then experience feelings of hopelessness about themselves and their circumstances. They may be filled with self-pity and be dissatisfied with themselves. But that is not true self-hatred. That is self-love that does not want to suffer.”