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Quote by Dave Barry

“It would be hard to conceive of any activity more useless than stamp collecting.”

Author

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“It is upsetting to many parents that their teen-agers introduce them to their friends as encyclopedia salesmen who are just passing through ... if they introduce them at all. I have some acquaintances who hover in dark parking lots, enter church separately and crouch in furnace rooms so their teen-agers will not be accused of having parents.”

Ifs Parent Church Dark Rooms Passing Passings Upset Introducing Accused Acquaintance Salesman Parking Passing Through Encyclopedia Furnaces Parking Lot

Book:Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

Source: Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

“I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own toys, if men don't have pockets in their pants, tougho.”

Ifs Thinking Men Children Women Rooms Pockets Pants Toys Supplies

Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist

Source: Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist

“A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.”

Boards Kitchen Ironing Board

Book:Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

Source: Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

“A fitting room to me has always been like a confessional ... where my body and my contrition take up the entire room.”

Body Rooms Fitting Contrition

Book:If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Source: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

“You always hear about fashion's success stories. How a starlet lost an earring one night and by the next morning, the entire country was wearing one earring. Or how sweaters made a comeback in a drugstore, or a First Lady influenced how we dressed during her reign. But what about the losers? The fashions that came and went out the same day? The hopes and dreams of designers that were shattered by the sound of fifty million women ... laughing themselves to death.”

Source: The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

“I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.”

Children Hands Walks Example Tvs Wall Balance Understood Cat Scales Climbs Rescue Roof Hallways Grabbing Antenna

Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Source: The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

“Even if heaven were real, and measured as Revelation says, so many cubits this wayand that, how gimcrack a place it would be, crammed with its pavements of gold, its gates of pearl and topaz, like a gigantic chunkof costume jewelry.”

Ifs Real Would Be Heaven Gold Revelations Gates Pearls Costumes Jewelry Pavement Topaz

Author:Margaret Laurence

“Work is the best thing to make us love life.”

Work Best Things Love Life

Author:Ernest Renan

“Jesus , in some respects, was an anarchist, for he had no idea of civil government . That government seems to him purely and simply an abuse. A great social revolution, in which rank will be overturned, in which all authority in this world will be humiliated, was his dream .”

World Ideas Dream Seems Government Jesus Social This World Revolution Authority Abuse No Idea Anarchism Anarchist Humiliated Social Revolution

Author:Ernest Renan

Quote by Dave Barry

Author

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