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Quote by Gary Gulman

“It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.”

Quote by Gary Gulman

Author

Gary Gulman, born on July 17, 1970, is an American stand-up comedian known for his unique humor style and witty performances. He has gained popularity for his insightful observations of everyday life and satirical commentary on social phenomena, often performing in comedy clubs and television shows. more

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“I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.”

Thinking Wells Wanted Politics Stuff Events Currents Significant Hardest Things To Do Hardest Thing Current Events Hardest Thing To Do

Author:Gary Gulman

“The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.”

People Want Wells Hard Guy Hair Normal Complaining Unhappy Tall Complaints Moody Being Unhappy

Author:Gary Gulman

“It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.”

Shows Stuff Careers Break Focused Obsessed Tonight Make Or Break Letterman

Author:Gary Gulman

“There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.”

Ifs Way Stills Certain Sides Talking Effects Tvs Drug Jokes Illness Comic Mainstream Side Effects Indicators

Author:Gary Gulman

“Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.”

People Giving Mean Done Problem Running Hate Fine Jew Suggestions Alright Belgians

Author:Gary Gulman

“Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.”

People Found Pay Attention Speed Driving Pay Attention Score Slow Down Highways Gadgets Dashboards

Author:Gary Gulman

“I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that's painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that'll be easy to find if that went down in the ocean. That'll be nice, when you're trying to get out and a real whale's humping your window.”

Ifs World Trying Real Easy Nice Sea Ocean Window Yeah Planes Being Nice Flew Airline Whales Southwest Airlines

Author:Robert Schimmel

“I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do it.”

Death Dies Imagine Ready Periods Not Ready Ready To Die

Book:Cancer on Five Dollars a Day Chemo Not Included: How Humor Got Me Through the Toughest Journey of My Life

Source: Cancer on Five Dollars a Day Chemo Not Included: How Humor Got Me Through the Toughest Journey of My Life

“A lot of weird ads. Sally Struthers with that little kid: 'Just 55 cents, the price of a cup of coffee, feeds this kid and his family for a week.' Yeah, where is that? 'Cause I wanna move there.”

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“Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.”

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Author:Robert Schimmel