“You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.” Quote by Dylan Moran
“Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.” KnowsWellsHumorFunnyLife IsSexCitiesConversationIncludingPhonesCoffeeArticlesMobileUnhealthyMobile Phones Author:Dylan Moran
“You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.” HumorFunnyBoxesWheelsSwearing Author:Dylan Moran
“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.” ThinkingKnowsPersonsHas BeensArtHumorFunnyTalkingNiceModernLike YouListeningEuropeTheaterYeahCriticalGermanyAffable Author:Dylan Moran
“Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely?'” MenWayLooksHumorFunnyBabyLovelyBreasts Author:Dylan Moran
“When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'” ChildrenHumorFunnyMovingLyingHoursDarkDoorsBedtime Author:Dylan Moran
“Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.” HumorFunnyLife IsAdultsForgottenRememberedLife Is Like Author:Dylan Moran
“And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.” PeopleWellsKindStillsDoneHumorFunnyTurnsJesusHavens Author:Dylan Moran
“I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.” KnowsWantPersonsHumorFunnyIndecisive Author:Dylan Moran
“Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"” KnowsLooksHumorFunnyFruitColourShowing Off Author:Dylan Moran
“You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!” KnowsImportantHumorFunnyDecisionHalfStrangeCoupleMembersLonelyIntelligentSaneOrganismsStrange Things Author:Dylan Moran