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Quote by Karl Pilkington

“If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.”

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Karl Pilkington is a British television personality known for his humor and genuine personality. Born on September 23, 1972, he gained popularity through his appearances on shows like 'The Ricky Gervais Show' and 'QI'. more

“In fact, if you are faced with the prospect of running across an open field in which lightning bolts are going to be a problem, you are much better off if their timing and location are determined by something, since then they may be predictable by you, and hence avoidable. Determinism is the friend, not the foe, of those who dislike inevitability.”

Ifs May Facts Problem Running Fields Determined Dislike Lightning Timing Location Better Off Foe Predictable Bolts Inevitability Determinism Lightning Bolts Open Fields

Author:Daniel Dennett

“My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.”

Hard Father Drink Sat Ruined Icicles

Book:Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

Source: Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

“Pay no heed to those who tell you that they have relinquished place and power of their own accord, and from their love of quiet. For almost always they have been brought to this retirement by their insufficiency and against their will.”

Has Beens Pay Quiet Retirement Accord Heed Insufficiency

Book:Counsels and Reflections of Francesco Guicciardini

Source: Counsels and Reflections of Francesco Guicciardini

“I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.”

Real Home Found Born Stage Tvs Fine Radio Clubs Comic Cabaret

Author:Bob Monkhouse

“Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.”

Feels Said Nice Missing Quiet Laughter Hearing Noise Funeral Nice Things Deceased I Feel Sad

Author:Bob Monkhouse

“Quick: noise made by a dyslexic duck”

Made Noise Ducks Dyslexic

Author:Barry Cryer

“What was I drinking last night? Furniture polish?”

Lasts Night Drinking Furniture Last Night Polish

Author:Paul O'Grady

Quote by Karl Pilkington

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