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Quote by Neil Leckman

“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!”

Quote by Neil Leckman

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“Those are parallel! Leave me alone!”

Humour Parallel

Author:Calvin Milled

“While 'Rap Trax!' recorded, Neel found some scrap paper and we started writing our first lyrics. Bandying about subject matter and title, we got stuck on the idea of 'cool', so my first rap song became 'Pretty Cool'. It was a symbol of our confidence. We weren't awesome cool or mega cool. We were only... pretty cool.”

Book:Coconut Unlimited

Source: Coconut Unlimited

“Yo, bredren, we be the illest,' went my proclamation. 'We be the dopest,' Anand would follow. 'Our tunes are going to be good,' Nishant would finish with.”

Book:Coconut Unlimited

Source: Coconut Unlimited

“Anand finished up his cola cube transaction. I stepped up and slammed three pound coins on the counter like an oppressed inner-city youth born with the skills of rhythm and rhyme.”

Book:Coconut Unlimited

Source: Coconut Unlimited

“C'mon. I'll show you." "Thou speakest strange!" Pearl said. "So do thou!" I said. "Thee!" "Thou!" I said.”

Humour Middle English

Book:The Heroines

Source: The Heroines

“Reason, Observation and Experience — the Holy Trinity of Science — have taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is now, and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for us. In this belief we are content to live and die. If by any possibility the existence of a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall be demonstrated, there will then be time enough to kneel. Until then, let us stand erect.”

Reason Inspiration Happiness Science Hope Belief Nature Experience Observation Supernatural Trinity Content Holy Trinity

Book:On The Gods and Other Essays

Source: On The Gods and Other Essays

“Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit.”

Book:I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

Source: I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

“Stone me, what a life!”

Life Humour Misery

Author:Tony Hancock

“Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.”

Humor Humour Wit Pun Pirates Wordplay

Book:Treasure Island

Source: Treasure Island

“When will the Home Office realize that when judges retire, not only are they sent home for the rest of their lives, but the only people they have left to judge are their innocent wives.' 'So what are you recommending?'asked Alex as they walked into the drawing room. 'That judges should be shot on their seventieth birthday, and their wives granted a royal pardon and given their pensions by a grateful nation.' 'I may have come up with a more acceptable solution,' suggested Alex. 'Like what? Making it legal to assist judges' wives to commit suicide?' 'Something a little less drastic,' said Alex.”

Law Humour Judges

Book:A Prisoner of Birth

Source: A Prisoner of Birth