Related Quotes
“I cannot embrace lightly that which conflicts with my soul”
“May fireworks fill your heart and independence be your way of life.”
“Coughing milk through your nose is one of the 7 cleansing rituals of dairy yoga!!”
“I can't understand why nobody at Safeway knew where the Lung Butter and Toe Jam were!!”
“He thought it was cool he could go back in time whenever he sneezed until allergy season started!!”
“What happens when the world is your oyster and you are allergic to shellfish?”
“You should always wear rubber gloves, if you're jump starting a car, while taking a shower.”
“At the Vampire old folks home they're reduced to using straws for their sucking!!”
“You know you've had a rough night when the bugs in your kitchen look up at you and go, "WTF”
“I figure whales are just amphibious pigs on steroids, right?”
“Being able to write a tale within a Tweet some would say was mighty sweet”
“I don't know about 'smart' home!! I can't get mine to rollover...”
“Did you sleep good?" "Well as can be expected without formal training I suppose”
“I know most of you have dozed off before, but have any of you ever dozed on?”