“I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!”
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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“I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!”
“My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!”
“When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!”
“My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.”
“And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!”
