Home / Quotes / Quote by Lenny Bruce

Quote by Lenny Bruce

“Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.”

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Author

Lenny Bruce was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, and satirist. He was a pioneer of stand-up comedy and a significant influence on later comedians. Known for his controversial and often obscene humor, Bruce faced frequent censorship and legal troubles throughout his career. He was born on October 13, 1925, and died on August 3, 1966. more

You May Also Like

“The woman who is about to deceive her husband always carefully thinks out how she is going to act, but she is never logical.”

Thinking Marriage Husband Logical Deceiving

Author:Honore de Balzac

“Even in civilized mankind faint traces of monogamous instinct can be perceived.”

Marriage Mankind Instinct Civilized

Author:Bertrand Russell

“Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.”

Ifs Has Beens Marriage Office Tiny Magazines Inches Adultery Old Life

Author:Dorothy Parker

“I am not faithful but I am attached.”

Marriage Faithful

Author:Gunter Grass

“There are women whose infidelities are the only link they still have with their husbands.”

Stills Marriage Husband Links Infidelity

Author:Sacha Guitry

“When a Roman was returning from a trip, he used to send someone ahead to let his wife know, so as not to surprise her in the act.”

Knows Used Marriage Wife Surprise

Author:Michel de Montaigne

“Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.”

Marriage Engaged Things In Life Embarrassing Old Friends Fiancee

Author:W. C. Fields

“As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.”

People Knows Emotion Marriage Husband Faithful Entitled Consuming

Author:Quentin Crisp

“I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.”

Years Two Lasts Marriage Bed Twenties Cups Strict

Author:H. L. Mencken

“Heiresses are never jilted.”

Marriage Heiress Jilted

Book:Delphi Complete Works of George Meredith (Illustrated)

Source: Delphi Complete Works of George Meredith (Illustrated)