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Quote by Taherah Mafi

“Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill.”

Quote by Taherah Mafi

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“Do I look like a clock?” inquired the warrior. “Is my face round? Are there numbers on it?” “If your face were a clock,” Lazlo reasoned slowly, “I wouldn’t ask you what time it was. I’d just look at you.” “Fair point,” admitted Ruza.”

Book:Strange the Dreamer

Source: Strange the Dreamer

“It's not the phone so much as the sociopathic super-bitch who lives inside it.' Charlie says, 'Most people just call her Siri.”

Book:Book Lovers

Source: Book Lovers

“...creating a universe was one thing, saving a seat on the four-fifteen to Taunton was something else.”

Christian Humour

Book:View from a Bouncy Castle

Source: View from a Bouncy Castle

“Wait," I gurgled, pivoting his delivery leeward. "That's not the newspaper. The sign says Philadelphia Art Museum." There was by then a clanging report as the errant brick smashed with major league velocity into a bronze statue that graced the museum's green lawn, severing the masterpiece's nose like a no-frills rhinoplasty. "Hey," I bellowed, surveying the damage. "Look what you did to Sylvester Stallone.”

Book:Zero Gravity

Source: Zero Gravity

“It seemed like this day could go in so many directions, like a spiderweb shooting out toward endless possibilities. Whenever you made a choice, especially one you'd been resisting, it always affected everything else, some in big ways, like a tremor beneath your feet, others in so tiny a shift you hardly noticed a change at all. But it was happening.”

Love Life Happiness

Author:Sarah Dessen

“An aphorism is nothing else but the slightest form of writing raised to the highest level of expressive communication. Let’s make an example. Being a scholar of stupidity, how might I avoid to thank a lot of people for their existence. Carl William Brown”

Humour Dictionary Shakespeare Aphorisms Dedication Quotes Shakespeare Quotes Aphoristic Dictionary

Book:William Shakespeare Aphoristic Dictionary: With essays by Carl William Brown

Source: William Shakespeare Aphoristic Dictionary: With essays by Carl William Brown

“There is no such thing as worthy and unworthy – there is only the throne and those too weak to sit on it.”

Humor Power Humour Satire Royalty Parody Royal Family

Book:Harry Windzor and the Stone of Scone: A Potter Parody and Prince Harry Satire

Source: Harry Windzor and the Stone of Scone: A Potter Parody and Prince Harry Satire

“Monarchies, dynasties, fairytales ... there is a fine line between these, Harry. The public know our names, they know our faces ... they know our stories – but that is all they are. You see, the media tells its tales about love and patriotism and duty, and that is what the people see, obligingly and obediently.”

Humor Power Media Humour Satire Royalty Social Commentary Royal Family Media Manipulation

Book:Harry Windzor and the Stone of Scone: A Potter Parody and Prince Harry Satire

Source: Harry Windzor and the Stone of Scone: A Potter Parody and Prince Harry Satire

“When it comes to being considered an adult I have three strikes against me. One, I barely reach five feet on a good day. Two, my round face, owl-like eyes, and tiny mouth give people the impression I’m some kind of haunted doll come to life. And three, my voice barely registers above the volume of flipping a book’s pages.”

Humor Humour Cheese Reverse Harem Haunted Doll Why Cheese

Book:Why Cheese?

Source: Why Cheese?

“One man, thirteen pints of lager, two doner kebabs”

Book:Bent Cop: Johnny Takes Out The Trash

Source: Bent Cop: Johnny Takes Out The Trash