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Quote by Phil Dunphy

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Phil's-osophy

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Phil Dunphy

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“The prerequisites for every man to assess before considering a LTR… “these are the five tests... Is she useful to you? Is she a slut in bed? Is she verbally respectful with you? Is she emotionally intelligent? Does she have obvious mental health? If the answer to any of those questions is ‘no’ then look elsewhere!” I would say that most men only look for the second and become blind to the rest!”

“A mad urge came over Henry; the urge to barge upstairs to Mr and Mrs Mifford's bedchamber and inform them that he was taking their eldest daughter for his bride. They could ride to London overnight; secure a special license from the Archbishop, and be married by noon, he thought wildly. Mr Mifford might put up some sort of protest, but his wife would probably pack dry biscuits for their journey and wave them on their way.”

“The jogger came upon them after the tragedy occurred and witnessed Raymond preparing to take off on his bike while Howard lay facedown on the ground with a metal spike through his head. When the cops arrived at the scene and questioned Raymond, he told them, “I don’t know … he like fell on it, or something. I was just riding my bike to the grocery store when I passed him on the trail. He was walking on the path while I was biking by. He saw me and said hello and then he fell face-first on a spike. I was like, ‘Dude, does that hurt?’ but he didn’t reply or move.” When the cops asked him why he was trying to flee the scene, he said, “I was going to get help on my bike. Maybe doctors could, like, unspike his head or something, like, I don’t know.”