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Quote by Howard Tayler

“I'll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.”

Quote by Howard Tayler

Book:Emperor Pius Dei

Work

Emperor Pius Dei

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Author

Howard Tayler, born on February 29, 1968, is a renowned cartoonist known for his unique sense of humor and profound themes. His most famous work is 'Schlock Mercenary', which combines elements of science fiction, fantasy, and military. Tayler is admired for his deep understanding of the genres and his ability to depict complex character relationships. more

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“So you're a fellow mercenary, then." "Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?" "Don't ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it's convenient.”

Violence Humour Convenience Mercenary Reality Television Professional Courtesy

Book:Emperor Pius Dei

Source: Emperor Pius Dei

“Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?”

Humour Sci Fi Fur Shaving Suggestion Itchiness

Book:The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance

Source: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance

“How many words are you having trouble with, sir?" "Just the ones that I've highlighted." "I count at least a dozen, and I haven't gotten out of the first paragraph." "That's as far as I got, too. I'm not sure you and I speak the same language.”

Language Humour Vocabulary Legalese

Book:Emperor Pius Dei

Source: Emperor Pius Dei

“Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time.”

Humour Stealing Sci Fi Warship

Book:Resident Mad Scientist

Source: Resident Mad Scientist

“I was proud to be brown in my own way. Well, I was at school; at school I was brown about the funky stuff that came with being vegetarian, like being really arrogant about it, declaring proudly to a room full of beefeaters when Mad Cow disease initially broke that it was 'Vishnu's way of telling y'all to stop eating and start worshipping'.”

Humour Vegetarianism

Book:Coconut Unlimited

Source: Coconut Unlimited

“Happiness was like a green vine spreading through her, stretching fine tendrils, bearing flowers through her flesh.”

Book:The Price of Salt

Source: The Price of Salt

“We'd taken up our positions on the benches between the school hall and a newly-installed outdoor basketball court. Being hip-hoppers, we were obliged to be obsessed with basketball. None of us had a ball.”

Humour Basketball Hip Hop

Book:Coconut Unlimited

Source: Coconut Unlimited

“Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station "talks" to the dark matter universe about what goes on inside." "How did you cobble together a jammer so quickly?" "I had one on me.”

Humour Sci Fi Making Do Handiness Radio Jammer

Book:The Blackness Between

Source: The Blackness Between

“Ah, but surely you must now be saying, "waitaminute, tuna fish would go bad if you kept it in your pocket for weeks and weeks without refrigerating it." To that I simply say: You obviously haven't read Professor P.S. Schackman's informative book How to Keep Tuna Fish in Your Pocket for Weeks and Weeks Without it Going Bad. I suggest you read it before complaining about the tuna situation again.”

Book:The Facttracker

Source: The Facttracker

“Colonel Cathcart is our commanding officer and we must obey him. Why don't you fly four more missions and see what happens?" "I don't want to." "Suppose we let you pick your missions and fly milk runs?" Major Major said. "That way you can fly the four missions and not run any risks." "I don't want to fly milk runs. I don't want to be in the war anymore." "Would you like to see our country lose?" Major Major asked. "We won't lose. We've got more men, more money, and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody else get killed." "But suppose everybody on our side felt that way?" "Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?”

Book:Catch-22

Source: Catch-22