Home / Quotes / Quote by Jarod Kintz

Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Here’s what I’d love to see: A vending machine that dispenses cats for petting on your lunch break. Instead of money, the machine accepts hugs.”

Quote by Jarod Kintz

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Work

There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Browse quotes and source details for this work. more

Author

Browse famous quotes and profile details for Jarod Kintz. more

You May Also Like

“I once saw two endangered species about to have sex, but I had to put a stop to it because I suspected one of them of being a prostitute. Then I went to the ATM and took out some cash just to be certain.”

Humor Sex Money Absurd Surreal Endangered Species Weird Humor

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“There are two types of things to do in Branson: Things that cost money and things that aren’t fun. Some things are both things.”

Humor Money Entertainment Vacation Tourism Tourist Branson Branson Missouri

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Your orange fanny pack reminds me of my Leftover Meatloaf Holder. I wear it when I work out or make love. My incredible level of romance can be rented by you for the unbelievably low price of $14.95 per hour.”

Humor Romance Sex Money Fashion Absurd Sales Make Love Fanny Pack

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Eddie Money and Johnny Cash should have collaborated. I’d have paid good last name to see them in concert.”

Humor Money Music Concert Fiat Currency Eddie Money Jounny Cash

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“The Whisper Factory is now hiring! Report your grandma for suspicious behavior and get PAID!”

Humor Money Secret Absurd Suspicious Surveillance Hiring Whisper Snitch

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Why bother reading? Why not just download all the known knowledge directly into your brain? Let Elon Musk implant a chip through your skull and get a year's subscription to heated seats in your Tesla for FREE.”

Humor Reading Money Knowledge Read Tesla Elon Musk Subscription Brain Chip

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“If I ever write a book on money, it will be free, because I don't know anything about the subject—including how to make it. I guess that makes me almost as qualified as college economics professors.”

Writing Book Humor Money College Books Write

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Even with millions you can't control time.”

Money Priorities

Book:Just My Luck

Source: Just My Luck

“Sales is a hard way to make money, trying to convince people to willingly pay you for a product or service. I prefer making money the old-fashioned way, by extortion, like the government does.”

Humor Money Business Service Product Sales Extortion

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“She thought men were saviors... ...And she looked for more in them than what they were... Only to rescue herself from those she wished would rescue her... And isn't that the most tragic lie... The lie where we tell what we wished were true and believe it...? She had an artificial memory, a prosthesis to a past that never was... She was like a party that no one ever went to... Like a cure...without a disease... And isn't that the greatest fear of all...to be ready with the answers to questions that no one asks anymore?”

Poetry Tragedy Self Deception

Book:Things I meant to say to you when we were old

Source: Things I meant to say to you when we were old