I Quotes
Browse famous quotes beginning with I. This page is a child index of the full Popular Quotes A-Z directory.
“If God had designed the orchestra, then the cello was His greatest accomplishment.”
Source: Hotels of North America
“If God had granted all the silly prayers I've made in my life, where should I be now?”
Source: Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer
“If God had intended for women to wear slacks, He would have constructed them differently.”
“If God had intended me to make excuses for who I am, He would have given me better excuses.”
“If God had intended that man should go backward, he would have given him eyes in the back of his head.”
Source: Ninety-Three: Works Of Hugo
“If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.”
“If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders.”
“If God had intended us to fly, he'd have never given us railways.”
“if god had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.”
“If God had looked into our minds he would not have been able to see there whom we were speaking of.”
Source: A companion to Wittgenstein's
“If God had meant for me to be religious, he would have alphabetized the books of the Bible. It was just too hard for me to find what I was looking for, especially if I was looking for it through a few glasses of scotch.”
Source: The Funeral Makers
“If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.”
“If God had meant for us to walk, why did he give us feet that fit car pedals?”
“If God had meant Harvard professors to appear in People magazine, She wouldn't have invented The New York Review of Books.”
“If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.”
“If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.”
“If God had meant there to be more than two factors of production, He would have made it easier for us to draw three-dimension al diagrams.”
“If God had meant us to go metric, why did he give Christ twelve apostles?”
Source: More joy of lex: an amazing and amusing Z to A and A to Z of words
“If God had meant us to have group sex, I guess he'd have given us all more organs.”
“If god had meant us to use the metric system he would have given us ten finger and ten toes.”
Source: Light Elements: Essays in Science from Gravity to Levity
“If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.”
“If God had not intended that Women shou'd use their Reason, He wou'd not have given them any, 'for He does nothing in vain.”
Source: The first English feminist: reflections upon marriage and other writings
“If God had not made brown honey, men would think figs much sweeter than they do.”
“If God had not made Sherry, how imperfect his work would have been.”
“If God had not permitted the people of Jerusalem to be torn asunder and driven them from the land, but had let them keep it after before, no one could convince them that they are not God`s chosen people.”
“If God had perceived that our greatest need was economic, he would have sent an economist. If he had perceived that our greatest need was entertainment, he would have sent us a comedian or an artist. If God had perceived that our greatest need was political stability, he would have sent us a politician. If he had perceived that our greatest need was health, he would have sent us a doctor. But he perceived that our greatest need involved our sin, our alienation from him, our profound rebellion, our death; and he sent us a Savior.”
Source: A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers
“If God had so wished, he would have made all Indians speak with one language ... the unity of India has been and shall always be a unity in diversity.”
“If God had sufficient wisdom and power to construct such a beautiful world as this, then we must admit that his wisdom and power are immeasurably greater than that of man, and hence he is qualified to reign as king”
Source: The Kingdom of God, part 1
“If God had to give a woman wrinkles, He might at least have put them on the soles of her feet.”
“If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms.”
“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.”
“If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.”
Source: Ten Big Ones
“If God had wanted to be a big secret, He would not have created babbling brooks and whispering pines.”
“If God had wanted to become an object of love, he would first of all have had to forgo judging and justice : a judge, and even a gracious judge, is no object of love.”
Source: Delphi Complete Works of Friedrich Nietzsche (Illustrated): Friedrich Nietzsche
“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
“If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He'd have put grass up there.”
“If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.”
Source: Homes and Other Black Holes
“If God had wanted us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths rather than two ears.”
Source: The Heart of a Leader
“If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 apostles.”
“If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.”
“If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.”
“If God had wanted you to wear earrings, he'd have made you a girl.”
“If God hadn't meant for us to eat sugar, he wouldn't have invented dentists.”
“If God hadn't meant us to hunt men, he wouldn't have given us Wonder Bras.”
Source: Foetal Attraction
“If God hadn't rested on Sunday, He would have had time to finish the world.”
“If God has allowed me to earn so much money, it is because He knows I give it all away.”
“If God has called you from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, if He has saved you and given you eternal life, if He has breathed His breath into your body and taken up residency in the form of the Holy Spirit, then trust that He has your best interest at heart. - Hidden Treasures”
Source: Hidden Treasures: Finding Hope at the End of Life's Journey
“If God has called you to China or any other place and you are sure in your own heart, let nothing deter you.Remember, it is God who has called you and it is the same as when He
called Moses or Samuel.”
“If God has called you to something, the most ignorant question you can ask is “Do I have the ability to do this?” Conversely, the wisest question you can ask is, “When can we get started?”
“If God has called you to something, He will equip you to be what He has called you to be. If He has called you to be a responsible, faithful, diligent leader, as a man, He will equip you to do that.”