“I was born imagining myself with an apron on, with pies cooling on the window sill and babies crying upstairs. I thought that all that stuff would somehow anchor me to the planet, that it was the weight I needed to keep from just flying off into space.” StuffBornSpaceWifeCryPlanetsBabyNeededWindowWeightFlyingPieAnchorsHouseworkUpstairsCoolingAprons Book:Postcards From the Edge Source: Postcards From the Edge
“In my mind, I gave the woman gifts. I gave her a candle stub. I gave her a box of wooden kitchen matches. I gave her a cake of Lifebuoy soap. I gave her a ceilingful of glow-in-the-dark planets. I gave her a bald baby doll. I gave her a ripe fig, sweet as new wood, and a milkdrop from its stem. I gave her a peppermint puff. I gave her a bouquet of four roses. I gave her fat earthworms for her grave. I gave her a fish from Roebuck Lake, a vial of my sweat for it to swim in.” MindDarkFourPlanetsSweetBabyRoseFishesBoxesWoodsGravesFatsKitchenLakesSwimCakeSweatCandleStemSoapDollsRipePuffFigsBouquetsPeppermintGlow In The Dark Book:Music of the Swamp Source: Music of the Swamp
“I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?” KnowsHumorFunnyAnimalPlanetsBabyFemaleMalesDid You Know Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."” ThinkingKnowsFunnyAnimalComedyPlanetsBabyFemaleScientistYeahBillsMalesStubbornAssistantsDid You KnowHaving A Baby Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"” KnowsMenYearsLooksLongDoneEnoughMightWalksWorryHellPlanetsSweetBabyGoes OnProudNewsHotCleanHeyCleaningNapsPorchPeasDensDrivewayAshtraysPavingSweet Peas Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me. It was bizarre that God said, I want to make the planet more beautiful, and I got the call.” WantMaySaidBeautifulGuyThreePlanetsBabyHollywoodTomsBizarreCruiseBrad Author:Adam Sandler
“I'm on this planet for another forty years at the most and I got a baby and a wife and I'm worried about their future and that kind of fear, that anger is spilling into my lyrics, I can't just sit back and talk about myself until I'm dead.” YearsKindI CanWifePlanetsBabyWorriedFortySpilling Author:Richard Patrick
“You're sitting with some guys, and you're playing and you go, "Ooh, yeah!" That feeling is worth more than anything. There's a certain moment when you realize that you've actually just left the planet for a bit and that nobody can touch you. You're elevated because you're with a bunch of guys that want to do the same thing as you. And when it works, baby, you've got wings. You know you've been somewhere most people will never get; you've been to a special place.” PeopleKnowsWantMomentsFeelingsGuyCertainLeftBitsRealizingSpecialPlanetsBabySittingYeahWingsBunchSpecial Places Author:Keith Richards
“I think there was a long period of time when we got real invested in a youth culture, and not coincidentally it was when the baby boomers, who let's face it, take up a lot of space on the planet, were young.” ThinkingLongRealFacesYoungCultureSpaceYouthPlanetsBabyPeriodsLong Periods Of TimeBoomersYouth CultureBaby Boomer Author:Anna Quindlen
“There are 7 billion people on the planet. Pretty much everyone is doing sex. It's not like you need to order the "baby-starter kit" on Amazon. Instincts will come to you at the weirdest places and times.” PeopleNeedsOrderSexPlanetsLike YouBabyInstinctBillionsAmazonStartersPlace And Time Author:Ryan Reynolds
“I think filmmakers, in general... There are some awesome, really great filmmakers - but on the whole, filmmakers, actors, I think they are the biggest bunch of whiny, over-paid babies on the planet.” ThinkingWholeActorsPlanetsBabyPaidBunchFilmmakerReally Great Author:Eli Roth