“You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.” PeopleThinkingHardHumorFunnyFacesCan DoPowerfulImagineHaving FunImagine ThatFunny Face Author:Ellen DeGeneres
“I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.” ThinkingWantHumorMightFunnyOrderCan DoPerfectWifeMonthsDatingListsRelativeMailPhilippinesPerfect WomanMailingFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.” MenHumorBigsFunnyGuyCan DoBaseballBig GuysSmall Man Author:Jerry Coleman
“I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"” PersonsSaidI CanHumorFunnyBlackCan DoWhiteRaceMy FavoriteInsultChickensPlusSoupAsianBeansCrackersSlurs Author:Mike Birbiglia
“You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"” IfsWantShouldBookUseFunnyAsksCan DoComedyGroupsWorstAdviceLike YouArmsPrayingTreatsBallsComplexesCancerCornersLike MeYou Can Do ItPinsBowlingBumperBowlersPraying For YouVasectomy Author:Jim Gaffigan
“The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.” FunnyCan DoWorkBusinessManagementMovedWorkersDamagePresentation Author:Scott Adams
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” LoveLifeInspirationalChildrenImportantFunnyMotherFatherCan DoFamilyMarriageMomWise WordsDadImportant ThingsMy DadParenthoodFatherhoodOur FatherFamily LoveFather SonMother And FatherAbout FamilyMom And DadHappy Mothers DayYour DadFather And SonBeing A FatherMother's LoveHappy FamilyGreat FatherChristian FatherMother And ChildGreat MarriageGood FatherInspirational MothersMother ProverbsBest FamilyMothers Day InspirationalLove Your FamilyInspirational MarriageHappy First Fathers DayLoving FamilyMother ChildFathers Day InspirationalLove And FamilyFatheringHappy Fathers Day GodFather MotherInspirational FatherLove My DadMom And ChildDad LoveFathers Day PoemsI Love My DadChristian Fathers DayFathers Day CardFatherhood InspirationalParent Child RelationshipEncouraging MarriageLoving My FamilyRaising A FamilyFather ChildParents MarriagePerfect Father Author:Theodore Hesburgh