“Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms -- so familiar at this time of year -- can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain.” FeelsYearsMeanBrainOne ThingEatingWinterActiveTinyFamiliarNosesMusclesSymptomsAcheVolcanoesSnailCoughingSneezing Author:Dave Barry
“I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.” IfsKnowsFactsFunEatingTinyApplesPigsAdorable Author:Greg Gutfeld
“We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.” KnowsFeelsLittlesStillsHumorFunnyFoundParentSeriousBrotherEatingCaughtTinyBagsFuneralAirlinePeanutsAllergiesLittle BrotherMy Little Brother Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“As a fighter, you have a weight cut, and if there's a weigh-in scene you want to look way smaller and depleted. You want there to be a noticeable difference between that and the fight day. You don't drink water, except for tiny sips, and you're not really eating anything, except for a tiny slice of sweet potato every hour.” IfsWayWantLooksFightingWaterHoursDifferencesCuttingSweetDrinkSceneEatingWeightTinyFighterPotatoesDrink WaterSweet Potatoes Author:Matt Lauria
“Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. "Well, eat it back up," William hissed. "Don't waste it." Cough gave a tiny whine. "I'm not eating your puke." Cough panted at him. "No.” WellsBigsFacesDogExpressionWasteEatingTinyGrassSatTerrificPerplexedPuke Book:Bayou Moon Source: Bayou Moon
“My ex—may he soon discover tiny worms have invaded his body and are slowly eating him alive—once told me God made men so perfect because He'd wanted to make up for the inadequacies of women.” MenMayMadeBodyWantedPerfectAliveEatingTinyWormsExesInadequacy Book:Animal Instincts Source: Animal Instincts
“My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.” MenFeelsStillsTwoMorningEatingTinyIslandsFeel BetterCrocodilesTwo Of Us Author:Daniel Handler