“We guided our children. We supported them. We were there for them. But once you start going through your list of schools that present a potential opportunity, a young man or a young woman has to be happy with their decision. If they are unhappy, then their whole four years of college are going to be some of the most miserable memories of their lifetime.” IfsMenYearsChildrenWholeSchoolYoungOpportunityMemoriesDecisionFourCollegeOur ChildrenLifetimeListsUnhappyMiserableYoung ManFour YearsYoung Women Author:Craig Biggio
“I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.” WayEndsLove IsHellFourTypeBedTwentiesListsNineExpertsSixteen Author:Matt Groening
“If your house has been on the market for more than four months, take it off the market and re-list it in two months as 'new.'” IfsHas BeensTwoHouseFourMonthsListsTwo Months Author:Barbara Corcoran
“If Jeff Mogil and Ron Melzack are right about genetics and pain, fifty years from now, generic Tylenol tablets will seem as quaint to us as a bottle of sarsaparilla tonic. Instead, we'll take our genotype ID bracely to the local genopharmacologist to order some bespoke pharmaceuticals. Or we may rise at four A.M. to meditate on the part of our nature that is painful and feel better for it. Along with social insurance, we'll carry geno-cards that list our predispositions: photosensitivity, osteoporosis, and poor response to codeine.” IfsFeelsYearsMaySeemsPainOrderSocialPoorFourResponsePainfulListsLocalsCardsTherapyFiftyInjuryBottlesFeel BetterGeneticsTabletsGenericQuaintOsteoporosisTylenolCodeine Author:Marni Jackson
“After a Canadian has been referred to a specialist, the waiting list for gynecological surgery is four to 12 weeks, cataract removal 12 to 18 weeks, tonsillectomy three to 36 weeks and neurosurgery five to 30 weeks.” Has BeensThreeWaitingFiveFourWeekListsSurgerySpecialistsRemovalNeurosurgery Author:Walter E. Williams
“Consider the oddity of those drug commercials on television. Fifteen seconds of the purported therapeutic effort, followed by about 45 seconds of a rapidly muttered list of horrific possible side effects. When the ad is over, I can't remember a thing about what the pill is supposed to do, except perhaps cause nausea, liver damage, projectile vomiting, a nasty rash, a four-hour erection, and sudden death. Sudden death is my favorite because there is something comical about it being a side effect. What exactly is the main effect in that case? Relief from abdominal bloating?” I CanRememberCausesSidesHoursEffortCasesFourEffectsTelevisionDrugMy FavoriteListsDamageReliefSecondsAdsFifteenNastyPillsLiverTherapeuticHorrificSide EffectsComicalNauseaOdditiesVomitingSudden DeathExactly IsProjectileAbdominals Author:Charles Krauthammer