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Giving Quotes

Browse 37613 quotes about Giving.

Giving Quotes

“I don't want to have a bad influence on anybody, but there's no point in my giving up cigarettes now. I won't die young.”

Want Giving Funny Young Dies Influence Giving Up Humorous Smoking Cigarette No Point Cigar Die Young

Book:As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister

Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister

“Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons, although gold hasn't done anything to them.”

Men Giving Done Earth Poor Rich Humorous Gold Prison Metals Distribution Scarce Rich Man Poor Man

Author:Mike Harding

“Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.”

Ifs Want Giving Doe Care Hours Return Taxes Humorous Dollars Technique Enormous Agents Sweat Mail Documents Accounting Overlooked Irs Tax Returns Armpits Refunds Does He Care

Author:Dave Barry

“We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.”

Want Giving Looks Facts Humorous Seasons Holiday Bowls Jelly Jolly Slugs Gift Giving

Author:Dave Barry

“The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.”

Giving Running Chance Humorous Reaching Strings Dozen Vacuums Examining

Author:Rich Hall

“If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much; But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.”

Ifs Way Giving Looks May Night Fun Amount Bed Ten Humorous Mark Damn Parks Get Back

Book:Dorothy Parker

Source: Dorothy Parker

“There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle, And rest's for a clam in a shell, So I'm thinking of throwing the battle - Would you kindly direct me to hell?”

Source: Collected poems: Not so deep as a well

“Terence, this is stupid stuff: You eat your victuals fast enough; There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear, To see the rate you drink your beer. But oh, good Lord, the verse you make, It gives a chap the belly-ache. The cow, the old cow, she is dead; It sleeps well the horned head: We poor lads, 'tis our turn now To hear such tunes as killed the cow. Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme Your friends to death before their time. Moping, melancholy mad: Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.”

Giving Wells Enough Turns Stuff Sleep Poor Lord Clear Stupid Drink Humorous Mad Rate Beer Tunes Melancholy Cows Verses Rhyme Belly Ache Pipe Lad Chaps Sleep Well

Author:A. E. Housman

“If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.”

Ifs Giving Sides Chance Issues Humorous Vote Congress Both Sides

Author:Les Aspin