“The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus.” KnowsFeelsBigsGovernmentGuyLibertyFiveFourWillingDecidedVoteCourtSupremeScholarSupreme CourtRulingArrestedBig GovernmentPersonal LibertyAnus Author:Jon Stewart
“A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?” SaidGuyWaitingMinutesGolfBarsDrunkArrestedCartsPennsylvaniaGolf Carts Author:David Letterman
“And then we've got Blades of Glory, and we've got Brothers Solomon, and I've got a script in development with this guy Chuck Martin who used to write on Arrested, and, you know, we have a few things in various stages of development.” KnowsWritingUsedGuyStageBrotherDevelopmentGloryScriptsVariousThis GuyBladesArrestedChuckSolomonStages Of Development Author:Will Arnett