“The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus.” KnowsFeelsBigsGovernmentGuyLibertyFiveFourWillingDecidedVoteCourtSupremeScholarSupreme CourtRulingArrestedBig GovernmentPersonal LibertyAnus Author:Jon Stewart
“When I was a kid, a book I read advised young artist to be themselves. That decided it for me. I was a corny kind of guy, so I went in for corn.” KindArtBookKidsYoungArtistGuyDecidedBeing YourselfCornCornyYoung Artists Author:Walt Disney
“I gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob and Ray kind of syndicated radio show. Then I decided to stick it out and see what happened. I'd give it a year, a year became two years, and then two years became three years, and then along came the record album.” MenGivingWritingYearsKindTwoShowsGuyThreePoorRecordsComedyHappenedMonthsSixDecidedSticksRadioAlbumsTwo YearsCopiesRaysAdsThree YearsBobSix MonthsGave UpOther GuysAccountingPoor Man Author:Bob Newhart
“As a kid I decided that a Canadian accent doesn't sound tough. I thought guys should sound like Marlon Brando. So now I have a phony accent that I can't shake, so it's not phony anymore.” ShouldI CanKidsGuySoundToughDecidedShakesAccentsPhonyBrando Author:Ryan Gosling
“Nobody ever was fired for 9/11. Instead of firing the people who didn't do a good job, we gave them medals. The guy who did a good job, I don't know what happened to him. And what we did was we decided we'd just collect everybody's information. That we'd sort of scrap the Bill of Rights.” PeopleKnowsJobsGuyRightsHappenedInformationDecidedBillsGood JobMedalScrapNsaBill Of RightsFiring Author:Rand Paul