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Home Quotes

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Home Quotes

“If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.”

Ifs Thinking Home Humor Might Funny Comedy Neighbor Cop Detectives Redneck You Might Be A Redneck If Redneck Humor Funny Redneck

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”

Ifs Home Humor Might Funny Comedy Car Wheels Without You Redneck You Might Be A Redneck If Funny Redneck

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

Home Funny Family Going Home New Home Home Sweet Home Home Is Where The Heart Is Funny Family Reunion Home Home Sweet Home House And Home Home Place Where Home Is Christian Home Places You Love

Author:Robert Frost

“The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl--everything.”

Giving Whole Feelings Home Funny Stars Cities Cutting One Day Mountain Hollywood Strikes Impression Remove Los Angeles Bowls Movie Star Impermanence

Author:Allan Sherman

“They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called "work" in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food in a box; they talk about thinking "outside the box"; and when they die they are put in a box.”

Source: The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms

“It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.”

Kind Home Funny Games Wife Beats Nba

Author:Charles Barkley

“Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.”

Home Happens Kids Funny Groups Team Higher Gold Chinese Teenager Score Olympics Thrilling Gymnastics London Olympics

Author:Jay Leno

“Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.”

Men Home Funny Courses House Winning Team Gold Soccer Upset Los Angeles Mexico Olympics Congratulations Medal Mexican Brazil Gold Medals London Olympics Soccer Team

Author:Jay Leno

“So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.”

Made Shows Home Kids Funny Waiting Gold Athlete China Chinese Gentleman Olympics Medal Gold Medals Ladies And Gentlemen London Olympics

Author:Conan O'Brien

“I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't buy that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'”

Needs Giving I Can Ends Home Humor Funny Waiting Imagine Prove Paper Give Me Ink Files Skeptical Scenarios Back Home Transactions Doughnut Documentation Receipts Ink And Paper

Author:Mitch Hedberg