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Allan Sherman Quotes

Writer

Allan Sherman was an American writer and comedian known for his humorous lyrics and satirical poetry. His work often tackled social and political issues with wit and satire, enjoying widespread popularity among the public.

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All Funny California Hollywood Color Committees Cutting Gray Ifs Might Pay

Famous Allan Sherman Quotes

“Teacher, teacher, I declare, I see your purple underwear.”

Education Teacher Purple Underwear

Author:Allan Sherman

“Temples also take into consideration an ability to pay and, in a general sense, do not turn people away if there's a need,.”

People Ifs Needs Turns Ability Pay Consideration Temples

Author:Allan Sherman

“The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl--everything.”

Giving Whole Feelings Home Funny Stars Cities Cutting One Day Mountain Hollywood Strikes Impression Remove Los Angeles Bowls Movie Star Impermanence

Author:Allan Sherman

“In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.”

People World Play Funny Law Waiting Sun Car Ready Hollywood Golf Clubs California Unemployed Golf Clubs Rolls Royce Chauffeurs

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.”

Want Hands Fall Hurt Nice Love You Falling In Love Shoes Boots Looking Back Old Shoes Wanting To Fall In Love

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.”

Matter Facts Funny New York Divorce California Southern Adultery Matter Of Fact Southern California

Author:Allan Sherman

“A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."”

Knows Persons Might Color Normal Mental Health Conformity Gray Committees Conform Being Different Nonconformity Conformist Non Conformity

Author:Allan Sherman

“The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.”

Littles Reality Differences Unreality

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.”

Way Winning Luck Cheating Grandma Cheated

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.”

Wells May Wonder Choreography

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.”

Should Cutting Cold Sandwiches Stingy Salami

Author:Allan Sherman

“I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.”

Pay Bills Moved Hotel Hospitality Cheaper

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.”

Government Individual Groups Color Gray Committees Perfectly Good

Author:Allan Sherman

“Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.”

Happens Winning Crash Automobile Sweepstakes

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.”

Ifs World Funny Hollywood California Expensive Colony True You Leper

Book:A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

Source: A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman

“The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.”

Want Coaches Ulysses Sissy Head Coaches

Author:Allan Sherman

“There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.”

Book One Thing Brother Daughter Sells Rings Shirts My Daughter T Shirt

Author:Allan Sherman

“Love is lovelier the 7th time around.”

Love Love Is

Author:Allan Sherman

“Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."”

Wells Might Sex Ready Lunch Intercourse Proclaiming Enzymes

Book:The Rape of the APE (American Puritan Ethic): The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973: the Obscening of America, an RSVP (redeeming Social Value Pornography) Document

Source: The Rape of the APE (American Puritan Ethic): The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973: the Obscening of America, an RSVP (redeeming Social Value Pornography) Document

About the Author

Born: November 30, 1924
Died: November 20, 1973
Known for: Writer
Quotes: 19

Books & Sources

A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan ShermanRelated source material

The Rape of the APE (American Puritan Ethic): The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973: the Obscening of America, an RSVP (redeeming Social Value Pornography) DocumentRelated source material

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