“I'm very wary of doing political stuff for a lot of reasons. One of the big ones is that the shelf-life for them is not very long, and the joke becomes old news very quickly.” LongReasonBigsPoliticalStuffNewsJokesShelvesShelf LifeOld News Author:Tim Heidecker
“Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke.” YearsListeningNewsJokesScientistYeahExtrasBad News Author:Conan O'Brien
“This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France. Twelve people were killed because a satirical newspaper made jokes that some group found offensive. All of us are accustomed to bad news from around the world. But this story hits home for anybody who mocks anyone.” PeopleWorldMadeHardStoriesHomeTodayFoundGroupsTerribleNewsJokesTragedyNewspapersAround The WorldFranceToneTwelveOffensiveAccustomedBad NewsSatiricalTerrible Tragedy Author:Conan O'Brien
“It`s the nature of cable news that we [TV hosts] do a lot of clipping and quoting of other broadcasts and outlets, sometimes to make a narrative point, sometimes to make a political one, and sometimes just to make a joke.” SometimesPoliticalTvsNewsJokesNarrativeHostOutletsCablesQuotingCable News Author:Chris Hayes
“I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde and then Fox.” AmericaMissingNewsJokesFormerFoxesBlondeFox NewsMiss AmericaTrifecta Author:Gretchen Carlson
“Cable news is 24 hours long so you have to fill it up with something. No, the Muppets are not communist. And the character of Tex Richman is not an allegory for capitalism in any way. The character is called Tex Richman. It's a joke. Clearly he is a classic, old school bad guy. He's bad not because he works for an oil company but because he's evil. No, it's not a communist movie in any way.” WayLongCharacterSchoolGuyEvilHoursCompanyNewsJokesCapitalismOilClassicCommunistBad GuysCablesOld SchoolAllegoryOil CompaniesMuppetCable News Author:James Bobin
“Mr. Crossley suddenly wondered why he was why he was worrying about the note. It was only a joke, after all. He cleared his throat. Everyone looked up hopefully. 'Somebody,' said Mr. Crossley, 'seems to have sent me a Halloween message.' And he read out the note: 'SOMEONE IN THIS CLASS IS A WITCH.' 6B thought this was splendid news. Hands shot up all over the room like a bed of beansprouts. 'It's me, Mr. Crossley!' 'Mr. Crossley, I'm the witch!' 'Can I be the witch, Mr. Crossley?' 'Me, Mr. Crossley, me, me, me!” SaidHandsSeemsRoomsClassWorryBedMessagesNewsJokesShotsNotesHopefullyWitchThroatHalloweenSplendid Author:Diana Wynne Jones