“President George W. Bush won reelection in 2004 largely because he was seen as comfortable in his own skin, while rival John Kerry was viewed as a flip-flopping opportunist.” PresidentComfortableSkinsRivalsFlipJohn KerryOpportunistPresident George W BushReelectionFlopping Author:Ron Fournier
“He spent more time on the road to Damascus than a Syrian camel driver. And we thought nobody could fill John Kerry's flip-flops! ... [Romney's record was] anything but conservative until he changed all the light bulbs in his chandelier in time to run for President.” LightRunningPresidentRecordsChangedRepublicanConservativeDriversMore TimeRomneyFlipCamelsJohn KerryBulbsLight BulbFlip FlopsChandeliers Author:Mike Huckabee
“A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today, President Bush called Newsweek magazine a threat to world peace.” IfsWorldSaidTodayPresidentBeatsPercentElectionThreatMagazinesPollsPresident BushJohn Kerry Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a recent speech. Kerry was stunned about this. He said, 'What? People are listening to my speeches?'” PeopleSaidPresidentListeningRepublicanSpeechJokesIraqPresident BushJohn KerryStunned Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.” PresidentSecurityThreatBusyTerroristOddTomsToo BusyHomelandJohn KerryRidgesHomeland SecurityBriefing Author:David Letterman
“John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the polls. How's that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he's up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding.” FeelsPresidentFiveWeekHonorRight NowDisappearCampaignsHidingPollsSuspendedJohn KerryPresident Reagan Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'” SaidSidesPresidentIssuesBoth SidesPresident BushJohn Kerry Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.” KnowsPresidentDatingIncomePresident BushJohn Kerry Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'” IfsFirstsLooksSaidPresidentMillionsWifeWeekMagazinesBotherAmerican HistoryThey SaidBucksFirst LadyJohn KerryTeresa Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.” KnowsPresidentRichAccusedPresident BushJohn KerryCatering Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.” WantNamesPresidentLeaderPresident BushWant HimJohn Kerry Author:David Letterman
“John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move for Senator Kerry. If Bush doesn't show up for the debates, John Kerry may end up debating an empty chair. And that could be pretty much a toss up as to which one has the better personality.” IfsWantMayEndsShowsMovingPresidentMonthsPersonalityEmptyElectionDebateChairsSenatorsPresident BushBetter PersonTossJohn Kerry Author:Jay Leno
“The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the Vietnam War.” SaidWarUseOrderCoursesHousePresidentMemoriesWhiteTvsCampaignsTragicWhite HouseVietnamAdsVietnam WarJohn KerryCondemningTv Commercial Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.” FoundPresidentDemocraticDemocratAlsFlashGoreJohn KerryFound Someone Author:Craig Kilborn
“In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war in Iraq, he didn't expect President Bush to 'f--- it up as badly as he did.' Here's some breaking news, tomorrow former Vice President Al Gore expected to endorse Howard Dean as the Democratic nominee for president of the United States - and you thought John Kerry was using four letter words before! Actually, to John Kerry, Dean is a four letter word.” SaidWarStatesRunningPresidentUnitedUnited StatesFourTomorrowNewsStonesLettersDemocraticIraqVicesExpectedFormerInterviewsAlsRollingSenatorsPresident BushGoreDeanVice PresidentRolling StonesJohn KerryFour Letter WordsBreaking News Author:Jay Leno
“Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry said you can't misspeak 15 times in a week and be president. And Bush said, 'You can't'?” SaidHardPresidentWeekFellowsDemocraticPresidentialCandidatesWeekendDeanJohn KerryPresidential Candidate Author:Jay Leno
“Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam.” PastPresidentWeekLos AngelesVietnamMexicoPresident BushVegasLas VegasJohn KerryIowaOregonPortlandNew MexicoPortland Oregon Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his bicycle. See, doesn't this make you miss President Clinton? That guy, he could ride anything without falling off.” GuyFallPresidentWeekMissingCoupleMountainClintonTexasBikePresident BushBicycleThat GuyJohn KerryPresident ClintonFalling Off Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any medals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services records thrown out.” WarPresidentRecordsDefenseCampaignsThrownProtestThrowingVietnamMedalAttackingPresident BushVietnam WarJohn KerryThrowing Away Author:Jay Leno
“One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President Bush has him beat.” ThinkingWellsLooksSaidPresidentToo MuchBeatsCriticsPresident BushJohn KerryThinking Too Much Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20.” HandsPresidentPlansJunePresident BushJanuaryJohn KerryHanding Over Author:David Letterman
“John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this.” IfsWantSaidShowsTodayPresidentMonthsLuckDebateHeyGood LuckPresident BushJohn KerryNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.” IfsThinkingTodayMovingNextHousePresidentWhiteMonthsBeatsElectionWorriedWhite HouseCapturePollsPresident BushMarginsBin LadenOsama Bin LadenJohn KerryMoving Up Author:Jay Leno
“As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.” PresidentMonthsSixElectionDemocraticBottomRoutineSailSix MonthsPresident BushEmergingNominationsJohn KerryElection DayNational Guard Author:Craig Kilborn