“The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.” IfsHumorFunnyJobsHouseProgramDriversDesirableYou Might Be A Redneck IfBeer DrinkingBeer DrinkersWrong Job Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program.” BelieveLongHumorFunnyDiesI BelieveLaughingProgramAttributesLong Life Author:Jeanne Calment
“After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.” IfsWantedFunnyTeamSummerProgramAddCongressThroatOlympicsCabinetsVolleyballReaganomics Author:Bob Hope
“There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.” HumorFunnyNightSpaceSunProgramSpace Program Author:Frank Carson
“Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?” PeopleDoeHumorFunnyProgramIronicOld PeopleCountdown Author:Frankie Boyle
“Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless.” HumorFunnyModernDangerousComputerProgramHorseUselessOver YouSoftwareWormsVirusesMicrosoftSwampsCyberspaceTrojansTrojan HorseFestering Author:Dave Barry
“When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows,' people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, for free.'” PeopleHumorFunnyEconomyProgramWindowHeyStaringMicrosoftLinuxBlank Stares Author:Linus Torvalds