“He spent more time on the road to Damascus than a Syrian camel driver. And we thought nobody could fill John Kerry's flip-flops! ... [Romney's record was] anything but conservative until he changed all the light bulbs in his chandelier in time to run for President.” LightRunningPresidentRecordsChangedRepublicanConservativeDriversMore TimeRomneyFlipCamelsJohn KerryBulbsLight BulbFlip FlopsChandeliers Author:Mike Huckabee
“John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.” FeelingsWeekRepublicanShouldersDamageSurgeryJohn Kerry Author:David Letterman
“John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a recent speech. Kerry was stunned about this. He said, 'What? People are listening to my speeches?'” PeopleSaidPresidentListeningRepublicanSpeechJokesIraqPresident BushJohn KerryStunned Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.” LyingGroupsPoliticianRepublicanCriticsLawyerCrookedJohn Kerry Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.” WayGivingShouldFunClearWeekFrontsInternetRepublicanFindingsShould HaveDenyHeatTreatmentRunnersOld FashionedRumorBrowsJohn KerryBotox Author:Bill Maher
“Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John Kerry's daughter told a story about how he once gave CPR to her hamster. At the Republican convention the Bush girls are going to tell a story about how when their hamster was bad, their dad built them a little electric chair.” TryingLittlesStoriesGirlDadRepublicanDaughterBuiltDemocraticDemocratChairsCopiesConventionsElectricJohn KerryHamstersElectric ChairCpr Author:Jay Leno
“For Democrats who are feeling completely discouraged, I've been trying to remind them, everybody remembers my Boston speech in 2004. They may not remember me showing up here in 2005 when John Kerry had lost a close election, Tom Daschle, the leader of the Senate, had been beaten in an upset. Ken Salazar and I were the only two Democrats that won nationally. Republicans controlled the Senate and the House, and two years later, Democrats were winning back Congress, and four years later I was President of the United States.” TryingYearsMayTwoStatesFeelingsRememberHouseWinningLostPresidentUnitedLeaderUnited StatesFourRepublicanSpeechElectionDemocratCongressUpsetTwo YearsControlledFour YearsSenateTomsBeatenBostonDiscouragedShowing UpRemember MeJohn Kerry Author:Barack Obama
“Senator McCain is all for John Kerry. Do you know they're buddies? McCain is in favor of Kerry being secretary of state. Somebody the other day suggested, maybe it was just today, a bipartisan compromise and nominate Colin Powell to be secretary of state again. What would be bipartisan about that? He's not a Republican.” KnowsStatesWould BeTodayRepublicanFavorsCompromiseDo You KnowSecretarySenatorsBuddyMccainJohn KerryBipartisan Author:Rush Limbaugh