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Taxes Quotes

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Taxes Quotes

“Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three months. We don't plan it that way. That's just how it works out. It's the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it's oral sex, I renew my driver's license.”

“Though tax records are generally looked upon as a nuisance, the day may come when historians will realize that tax records tell the real story behind civilized life. How people were taxed, who was taxed, and what was taxed tell more about a society than anything else. Tax habits could be to civilization what sex habits are to personality. They are basic clues to the way a society behaves.”