Best taxes & tax-day Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.”

Taxes Deadline Tax Day

Author:Laurie Notaro

“The power of taxing people and their property is essential to the very existence of government.”

People Government Existence Taxes Essentials Property Tax Day Property Taxes

Author:James Madison

“Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.”

Ifs Knows Form Levels Taxes Taxation Martyr Income Tax Crooks Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Will Rogers

“Our opponents see an America in which every day is April 15, tax day. Well, we see an America in which every day is the Fourth of July.”

Wells America Taxes Opponents Fourth April July Tax Day

Author:Ronald Reagan

“The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.”

Ifs Soul Sleep Lord Praying Taxes Lays My Soul I Pray Collectors Tax Day Abracadabra

Book:The primrose path

Source: The primrose path

“Tax day was yesterday. And marijuana growers are complaining that they can't write off a single expense thanks to federal laws. Well, apparently someone tried to claim the Phish tour as his home office and that's not going to happen.”

Writing Wells Home Happens Law Taxes Office Claims Complaining Yesterday Thanks Expenses Marijuana Tax Day Home Office Phish

Author:Conan O'Brien

“It's April 15, tax day. The federal tax code is over 74,000 pages long. But stick with it because after page 72,000, it gets really good.”

Long Taxes Pages Sticks Code April Get Real Tax Day Federal Taxes

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.”

People Today Audience Taxes Folks Tax Day Refunds

Author:David Letterman

“The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.”

Government Political Taxes Debt Spending Criminals Income Taxation Income Tax National Debt Tax Breaks Tax Day Taxes Funny Federal Taxes

Author:Barry Goldwater

“This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”

World Difficult Taxes Philosopher Income Hardest Mathematician Hardest Thing Income Tax Tax Day

Author:Albert Einstein

“A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.”

Knows Persons Pay Know How Taxes Being Thankful Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Ann Landers

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.”

Source: Time Enough for Love

“The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians.”

Funny Politics Business Economy Cutting Politician Taxes Capitalism Taxation Tax Cuts Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Steve Forbes

“The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here.”

Would Be Simple Money Wonderful Effects Taxes Glad Cards Posts Flats Tax Day Wonderful Times Flat Tax

Author:Steve Forbes

“It's tax day and while many Americans are filing their taxes with a groan, taxpayers in the Badger State have reason to cheer. In Wisconsin, we have enacted more than $2 billion in tax cuts, giving our citizens much-needed relief, call us crazy Midwesterners but we think you know how to spend your money better than the government.”

Thinking Knows Giving States Reason Government Know How Cutting Crazy Needed Citizens Taxes Billions Relief Cheer Taxpayers Tax Cuts Wisconsin Filing Tax Day Badgers Midwesterners

Author:Marco Rubio

“There's no such thing as a good tax.”

Taxes Income Tax Tax Breaks Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Winston Churchill

“The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.”

Stills Humor Funny Business Taxes Intellectual Economics Rewards Pursuit Finance Carrie Taxation Avoidance Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:John Maynard Keynes

“I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.”

Years Reason Money Taxes Spending Funny Life Funny Money Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Douglas Adams

“Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.”

America Pay Liberty Progress Taxes Humorous Profound Average Insane Wages Taxation Income Tax Irs Tax Day Paying Taxes Taxes Funny Property Taxes

Author:H. L. Mencken

“America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.”

America Land Taxes Taxation Income Tax Tax Day Tax Dollars Taxes Funny

Book:Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times

Source: Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times

“The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.”

Feelings Humor Funny Time Sin Taken Taxes Tired Wages Taxation Funny Money Tax Day Raising Taxes

Author:Paula Poundstone

“Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

“The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.”

Government Work Military Taxes Conservative Debt Spending Federal Government Taxation Examination Taxpayers Income Tax Tax Day Taxes Funny Civil Service Federal Taxes

Author:Ronald Reagan

“You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.”

Inspirational Government Pay Taxes Taxation Tax Day Taxes Funny

Author:Chris Rock

“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”

Government Death Differences Taxes Investing Congress Taxation Political Will Tax Day Raising Taxes Inheritance Tax

Author:Will Rogers

“Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.”

Country Inspiration Taxes Our Country Closest Treasury Hamilton Tax Day Us Treasury

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.”

Ifs Years Government Taxes Pockets Wet Taxation Income Tax Creeks Tax Day Tax Dollars Taxes Funny

Book:The Papers of Will Rogers: From vaudeville to Broadway : September 1908-August 1915

Source: The Papers of Will Rogers: From vaudeville to Broadway : September 1908-August 1915

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Taxes Quotes