“I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.” TryingHas BeensCountryReasonHumorBigsFunnyBoysEatingTownsAgricultureCountry Boy Book:Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding Source: Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding
“The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town.” HumorFunnyRealizingFateHorrorTownsMiserableCircusRelentlessNew Yorkers Author:Kyle Baker
“I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection...” KnowsWellsKindTwoHumorLightSeemsFunnyFunStuffClearFiveConnectionsTownsGodmotherLight Of My Life Author:Ellen DeGeneres
“On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.” HumorFunnyNightGuyDoorsFrontsKeysTownsClockScottishFront Doors Author:Frankie Boyle
“Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.” WantWritingStillsHumorFunnyGuyTownsNeighborCardsOver ItApartmentFlipRiflesPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.” HumorFunnyTownsKill Me Author:Steve Martin
“Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.” PeopleTwoHumorFunnyUsedWhiteComedyTownsShoppingMalls Author:Chris Rock
“Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?” EnoughHumorBigsFunnyScienceSidesFoolTownsMajorityFools And FoolishnessHuckleberry Author:Mark Twain
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.” MeanHumorFunnyLeftCausesTownsAddictionComedianMonkeysCircus Author:George Carlin
“There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.” StoriesHumorFunnyNightPartyHeardSceneLateResearchTownsDrinkingVery GoodChecksGood StoryLate NightGood DrinkingSyracuseGood Party Author:Dave Attell
“Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.'” FeelsShouldWritingTryingHumorBigsFunnyCitiesWeekBuildingGeniusTownsByeMoronPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.” HumorFunnyMoralTownsMannersPlaces To GoHicks Author:Alexander Woollcott