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Turns Quotes

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Turns Quotes

“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.”

Feels Matter Light Pain Turns President Wife Like You Personality Dad Bills Clinton Vices Branches Executives Als Annoying Nerd Gore Vice President Turn Off Executive Branch

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops.”

Faces Turns Half Wife Doors Dinner My Wife Broke Flats Plates Like Something Cruise Cabins Spaghetti Keystones

Author:Art Donovan

“What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.”

Turns Natural Marriage Wife Filled Instinct Tendencies Dismay

Author:Finley Peter Dunne

“A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all; in good repute, in bad repute, in the face of the world's condemnation, a mother still loves on, and still hopes that her child may turn from his evil ways, and repent; still she remembers the infant smiles that once filled her bosom with rapture, the merry laugh, the joyful shout of his childhood, the opening promise of his youth; and she can never be brought to think him all unworthy.”

“Mutability is the badge of infirmity. It is seldom that a man continues to wish and design the same thing two days alike. Now he is for marrying; and now a mistress is preferred to a wife. Now he is ambitious and aspiring; presently the meanest servant is not more humble than he. This hour he squanders his money away; the next he turns miser. Sometimes he is frugal and serious; at other times profuse, airy, and gay.”

Men Two Sometimes Turns Next Wish Hours Wife Design Serious Gay Humble Servant Ambitious Mistress Two Days Marrying Badges Infirmity Misers Airy Frugal Mutability

Author:Pierre Charron

“When I give a speech at a corporate event, I often ask those in attendance, 'Do you know how to tell if you're doing the job?' As heads start whispering back and forth, I provide these clue: 'If you're up at 3 A.M. every night talking into a tape recorder and writing notes on scraps of paper, have a knot in your stomach and a rash on your skin, are losing sleep and losing touch with your wife and kids, have no appetite or sense of humor, and feel that everything might turn out wrong, then you're probably doing the job.'”

Source: The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership

“I haven't a clue about the biology or the psychology involved when a person dissolves into tears, but it is quite fascinating to note what turns them on. There are wives who can cascade over a late husband or a burned dinner, and equally pour tears of joy over a new bonnet or a renovated bathroom.... A while ago I took a ship back from Europe. Amid the tumbling confetti ... I found myself misty-eyed watching a young lady waving a tearful farewell to her boyfriend on the dock. I couldn't figure out if I was crying at her plight, or in delight that he wasn't coming along with us.”