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Wife Quotes

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Wife Quotes

“If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.”

Ifs Lost Wife Sky Like You Following My Wife Ass Pairs Jackets Wardrobe Trousers

Author:Ozzy Osbourne

“My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit”

Humor Funny Lasts Guy Wife Shoes My Wife Pairs Drivers Deer Zoos Pair Of Shoes Dashboards

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Jack Sprat could eat no fat,His wife could eat no lean. A real sweet pair of neurotics.”

Real Wife Sweet Fats Pairs Nursery Rhymes

Author:Jack Sharkey

“Face the fact that there's only one sure-fire way to erase credit card debt. By picking up a big, shiny pair of scissors and cutting your wife in half.”

Way Facts Bigs Faces Half Fire Cutting Wife Credit Debt Cards Pairs Erase Credit Card Scissors Credit Card Debt

Book:New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

Source: New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

“God, she's growing up, and I don't know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths. I picked up a pair of skimpy underwear. I looked at my wife and said: "When you gonna wear these for me?" She goes, "I can't. They're your daughter's." "Aaaaaaahhhhhh! No, No, No!" There was nothing to them! The how-to-wash tag was the biggest piece of cloth on there.”

Knows Men Littles Said I Can Helping Used Growing Up Pieces Wife Growing Happened Daughter My Wife Pairs Mice Folds Underwear Tag Your Daughter Panties Minnie Minnie Mouse

Author:Bill Engvall