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Anthony Venn-Brown

Anthony Venn-Brown Books

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“It's important to remember that having a conversation about us (LGBT) without us will usually be a recycling or preconceived ideas and misconceptions. Can you imagine a group of male church leaders discussing the role of women in the church without females present. We would call that misogyny. Or church leadership discussing indigenous issues without ever consulting with indigenous people themselves to get insight into what their life experience is really all about. We would call that white supremacy/racism/elitism. The church has done a great deal of talking about us but rarely has spoken with us. So when church leaders discuss LGBT people, relationships and the community without speaking with or spending time getting to know LGBT people it does beg the question why. What is there to fear? Why the exclusion? Is this another evidence of homophobia? It's time for the church to invite LGBT people into the conversation. For some this is a conversation about their thoughts and beliefs but for us it is about who we are. You can ask questions. What was it like to sit in church and hear the word abomination to describe your orientation. What was it like to get to the point of coming out knowing you might be rejected by those you've loved and a church you've served.? How did you find resolution of your Christian beliefs and your sexuality? In listening you will learn. That's why it's so important to remember. No conversation about us, without us.”

LgbtHomosexualityLgbt RightsLgbtq CommunityHomosexuality Is A Sin
Author:Anthony Venn-Brown
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“Have you ever noticed that the only people who go on about "homosexuality is a choice" is heterosexual Christians. This is quite revealing. Firstly they come to this conclusion because they already view same sex orientation as a sin and therefore, like their own sin, they can choose to sin or not. Secondly they lack understanding because they have never had to choose their orientation. It came naturally to them at puberty as orientation did to me. Trying to explain orientation to these people is like trying to explain white male privilege to a white male. They have known nothing else and never experienced discrimination, inequality or harassment as a female or having black skin. It's like trying to explain the concept of water to a gold fish. And they are completely oblivious to the fact that every moment of every day they are acting on their heterosexual orientation. Gay people get it because we've lived it.....and you never get hear gay people saying "I chose to be gay". You do sometimes get gay people saying they chose to be straight but on deeper examination you realise they are actually "situational heterosexuals" as their orientation has not changed; just some behaviours.”

Sexual OrientationHomosexuality Is A Sin
Book:A Life of Unlearning - a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith
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“Have you ever noticed that the only people who go on about "homosexuality is a choice" is heterosexual Christians. This is quite revealing. Firstly they come to this conclusion because they already view same sex orientation as a sin and therefore, like their own sin, they can choose to sin or not. Secondly they lack understanding because they have never had to choose their orientation. It came naturally to them at puberty as orientation did to me. Trying to explain orientation to these people is like trying to explain white male privilege to a white male. They have known nothing else and never experienced discrimination, inequality or harassment as a female or having black skin. It's like trying to explain the concept of water to a gold fish. And they are completely oblivious to the fact that every moment of every day they are acting on their heterosexual orientation. Gay people get it because we've lived it.....and you never get hear gay people saying "I chose to be gay". You do sometimes get gay people saying they chose to be straight because they are now married but on deeper examination you realise they are actually "situational heterosexuals" as their orientation has not changed; just some behaviours.”

Sexual OrientationHomosexuality Is A SinChristianity And Homosexuality
Book:A Life of Unlearning - a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith
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“There are those from religious backgrounds who resist and oppose LGBT equality; some very obsessively and publicly. They make bold accusations and negative statements about gay and lesbian people, their supposed "lifestyle" and relationships. But when a son, daughter, brother, sister or close friend comes out it is no longer an "issue" it becomes a person. They realise everything they'd said was painfully targeted at someone they love. Then......everything changes.”

LgbtComing OutLgbt RightsComing Out Of The ClosetLgbtq CommunityComing Out Stories
Book:A Life of Unlearning - one man's journey to find the truth
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“According to my previous belief system, being a Christian and homosexual was not only incompatible; like heaven and hell, they were in absolute opposition. The constant conflict of being one person inside but presenting another on the outside for twenty-two years eventually took its toll. The messages I got were loud and clear. Never ever admit to yourself or anyone who you are. Hide it, kill it, eradicate it, heal it, deliver it, break it, suppress it, deny it, marry it to a woman, heterosexualize it, therapy it, anything and everything, but whatever you do don’t stand up one day and say “I am gay” because that will mean the end. I spent most of my life trying to destroy the real me, doing all I could to ensure he never found expression. A suicide of the soul, identity and meaning. When you finally embrace the gift of your sexual orientation it IS the end; the end of shame, fear and oppression. You leave the darkness of the closet and begin a life of honesty, authenticity and freedom.”

Coming OutComing Out Of The ClosetComing Out Stories
Book:A Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth
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“Midlife dynamically, for both straight and gay males, is often challenging as we face the reality that many of the dreams we had for our lives might not become a reality and unresolved conflicts come to the surface. For us to successfully transition in to the next phase of our lives we must find reconciliation of these issues. And for the gay male there is a sense that the gay self we have tried to keep in the closet or so many years begins to scream out. "Time is running out. When do I get to live?" You can't ignore that voice in the end, you can try and suppress it, and you can try and deny it, you can try and silence it by filling your life with other noises and diverting attention ......but that voice still exists. "Will my entire life be a lie?”

MidlifeMidlife CrisisComing Out Of The ClosetComing Out Stories
Book:A Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth
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“Sometimes people tell me they don’t want to label themselves by their sexual orientation. I used to reject my gay identity. In fact I did everything to try and annihilate it. The last thing I would ever do would be to say...... “I’m gay”. Taking ownership of that was a terrifying thought and I believed it had tragic long-term as well as eternal consequences. The closest I ever got to acknowledging my true orientation was admitting I had “a homosexual problem”. Accepting who I was, was a loooong journey. And once I’d accepted then learning to embrace and celebrate being gay. We have multi identities. We can have different identities in different contexts. In some contexts some identities are paramount and others irrelevant. The highly self-aware person is conscious of the various identities but manages them wisely, recognizing each one is a part of the whole. Personally, I’m proud to be a homosexual. No more shame, denial or secrecy. The shame has been washed away by self-acceptance and self-hatred replaced with self-love. I am gay. Always have been gay. Always will be.”

GayComing OutHomosexualSexual OrientationComing Out Of The ClosetComing Out Stories
Book:A Life of Unlearning – a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith
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“Homophobia and the closet are allies. Like an unhealthy co-dependent relationship they need each other to survive. One plays the victim living in fear and shame while the other plays the persecutor policing what is ‘normal’. The only way to dismantle homophobia is for every gay man and lesbian in the world to come out and live authentic lives. Once they realise how normal we are and see themselves in us….the controversy is over.”

MenWorldWayNeedsPlayGayNormalShameVictimDependentRealisingAlliesClosetsControversyUnhealthyHomophobiaGay MenAuthentic LifeLiving In Fear
Author:Anthony Venn-Brown
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“If you are in the closet and fall in love with someone of the same gender, it doesn't automatically remove the shame and fear that's kept you locked away. The love you are experiencing encourages you to face the reality that this is who you really are and also has the power to set you free. The richness, beauty and depths of love can only be fully experienced in a climate of complete openness, honesty and vulnerability. Love, the most powerful of human emotions, is calling you to freedom and wholeness.”

IfsLoveHumansRealityAgeFacesFallPowerfulEmotionLove YouHonestyCallingShameClimateFalling In LoveDepthGenderVulnerabilityRemoveMost PowerfulOpennessLockedWholenessClosetsRichnessHuman EmotionsDepth Of Love
Author:Anthony Venn-Brown
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